


Handmade Heaven

by liviadovehallow



Category: The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Major Illness, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25184497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liviadovehallow/pseuds/liviadovehallow
Summary: “I was awfully ill during my pregnancy,” said Cecily. “I was worried all the time that you wouldn’t live to be born, or you would be sickly and ill. And then you were born, and you were the most beautiful, healthy, perfect child.” She smiled. “Anna means ‘favor,’ as in ‘God has favored me.’ I thought the Angel had favored me with you, and I would make sure you were always happy, always content.” (Every Exquisite Thing, Ghosts of the Shadow Market)Cecily Lightwood, nee Herondale, did not have a perfect pregnancy. She was ill, sometimes deathly. Gabriel worried deeply for his wife and his child and Will remained continuously petrified that he would lose his sister forever. With an unknown demon threat lurking in London, the Shadowhunters of London worry for the future of their children. This is the story of Cecily and Gabriel Lightwood and their love for each other, fighting to bring that love into a safer world.
Relationships: Cecily Herondale/Gabriel Lightwood
Comments: 48
Kudos: 92





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> According to The Last Hours timeline, Anna Lightwood was born in 1884. For the purposes of this fic, she was born in mid-to-late summer of 1884. This means Cecily was approximately aged 21 when she gave birth to Anna, and Gabriel was approximately 24. This also places the following characters approximate ages at the time of Anna’s birth: Will (23), Tessa (22), Sophie (26), Gideon (26), Charlotte (29), Henry (29), Charles (5), Barbara (3/4), & Eugenia (1/2). In this story, Cecily & Gabriel’s wedding took place in mid-1882, making Cecily 19, the same age her brother was when he married (Will married Tessa in March 1880, nine months before he turned 20), and a year old than Tessa was.

_Covent Garden, London  
_ _August 1882_

It had been a day of celebration for the Shadowhunters of the London Enclave.

The halls of the modest home were decorated in glittering gold, from the flowers to the seats. Music played amongst the chatter of guests underneath the large windows of the house. And at the end of the large garden, behind a formally decorated dining table lined with runes, in an elegant gown of gold, sat Cecily Lightwood, nee Herondale.

Beside her sat her new husband, Gabriel Lightwood. They smiled and laughed as their friends and family toasted to them.

_“I suppose I only agreed because you promised to wait until you are the same age I was when I married,” Will sighed, walking next to Cecily on the grounds of the London Institute. “Or else I never would have given Lightworm my blessing.”_

_Cecily smiled despite the vague insult of her new fiancé. The Lightwood ring felt heavy on her slim finger, but she refused to take it off unless she was patrolling. Even then, she placed the ring on a chain and wore it around her neck, close to her heart. “I told you we would have a long engagement. You know, when you embarrassed poor Gabriel in front of Mam and Dad?”_

_Will laughed, shaking his head. “What a wonderful moment that was. I do wish it was memorialized in a portrait, don’t you?”_

Will, in all his glory, greatly enjoyed the looks on everyone’s faces at the party when he declared that he thought Cecily was marrying Gideon and took back all the nice things he said. Sophie had not been pleased.

She knew her brother no longer harbored any ill feelings toward Gabriel. They had fought together in the Clockwork War, and Gabriel had since saved Cecily’s life on several occasions while out on patrol. Will had no reason to believe that Gabriel did not love Cecily, but he insisted on taking every opportunity to ride the line of annoyance every chance he got.

“That’s enough, Will,” Tessa had told him, pulling him back into his seat.

_“Cecily, it’s absolutely gorgeous!” Sophie said, gleefully, clasping her hands together under her chin. “Barbara, doesn’t Cecy look pretty?”_

_Sophie’s young daughter looked up and grinned. “Yes, Mama!”_

_Cecily smiled at her future niece before looking at herself in the large mirror in Sophie’s dressing room, where they’d hid Cecily’s wedding gown from Gabriel’s—and Will’s—prying eyes. “Mrs. Cecily Lightwood,” she said, simply. “I don’t think I’ll ever get quite used to that.”_

After their guests departed the home at Bethnal Green at the end of the night, Gabriel found Cecily standing alone in the center of the garden where the reception had been held. The dimming witchlights mixed with moonlight upon her gold wedding dress and dark hair, making her seem celestial to Gabriel. It took his breath away, just like the moment he first saw her walk toward him at the start of their ceremony, with Will as her _suggenes_. Gideon, his brother and own _suggenes_ , had nudged his arm and smiled approvingly.

“Cecily,” he whispered as he approached behind her, sliding his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. She hummed softly.

“Nine,” she said. Gabriel laughed.

“Only a nine? You rate our wedding only a nine? What could possibly have prevented a ten?”

Cecily turned her head and smiled at him, with a hint of mischief in her blue eyes. “That I had to wait this long to be alone with you, Mr. Lightwood.”

_“You want to_ what? _”_

_“I want to marry your sister,” Gabriel stated again. He held his head high, staring Will down confidently. Almost unconsciously, he twisted his Lightwood ring around his finger._

_Will scowled. “No.”_

_“Will, I’ve done everything properly.” Gabriel sighed inwardly. “I’ve courted Cecily for three years; I believe I’ve made my intentions quite clear. I am only doing what you asked me to do that night. I’m asking for your blessing.”_

_Gabriel watched as Will appeared to force himself to breathe. Finally, he said, “I suppose I had thought she would come to her senses.” Gabriel stared. Will pressed his hands to his face before exhaling loudly. “You’re serious about this? Absolutely serious?”_

_"As seriously as you felt about Tessa,” Gabriel answered. “There is no one else for me.”_

_Will looked at him for a long moment, and Gabriel began to worry that he might never win Will’s approval. But Will nodded slowly, holding Gabriel’s gaze. “All right. I believe you. And I give you my blessing.”_

Chills ran through Gabriel’s body as Cecily laughed and broke away from his grip, picking up her skirts and heading toward the doors of their new home. “Do come find me when you’ve collected your wits.”

Gabriel stood for a moment, watching her disappear through the doors and up the staircase. The new rune on his arm felt exciting and vibrant. He followed, closing the doors behind him with a locking rune.

When he arrived in their bedroom, he spotted Cecily’s shoes thrown beside the bed. A trail of gold lay beside the dressing curtain in the corner, where he heard shuffling. “You wait right there, Gabriel Lightwood. Don’t you dare come any closer just yet.”

Gabriel laughed. “All right. I will stay right where I am.”

He removed his jacket and shoes, laying them against an armchair. His hands shook as he loosened his collar, straining to get more air. He knew this time was coming but had absolutely no idea how to go about it. And he was most certainly _not_ going to ask Gideon.

Gabriel grabbed his stele from his pocket, twirling it in his fingers. _Two runes_ , he knew. Cecily had drawn his first, upon his arm, during the ceremony calmly. He drew hers too, but his hands shook then. She had smiled at him and it was contagious.

“Gabriel.”

He looked up and stopped breathing. Cecily, his wife—his _beautiful, amazing_ wife—wore only her nightgown and corset, the sheer material making his senses abandon reason.

She smiled at him, knowingly, and gestured to her corset. “I can’t take it off myself.”

He swallowed and set the stele down on the bed, approaching her quietly and removing the lace holding the corset to her body. She grabbed it and tossed it aside, turning to face him. Her hands found his collar and she pulled him closer, backing up until her legs hit the side of the bed. She climbed into it, resting on her knees. He sat beside her and grabbed the stele.

Together, they drew their second wedding runes above their hearts.

“ _Set me as a seal upon thine heart_ ,” Cecily whispered softly as she marked Gabriel.

“ _As a seal upon thine arm_ ,” Gabriel answered just as softly, marking Cecily. “ _For love is as strong as death._ ”


	2. The Dark Before the Storm

_Hyde Park, London  
_ _November 1883_

Even after five years as a Shadowhunter, Cecily still lived for the thrill of the hunt.

There had been reports of Stax demons in Hyde Park and Cecily was the first to volunteer to go. Her brother, Will, had argued with her about it. She knew she was a skilled Shadowhunter. Yet, he still struggled to see her walk into battle without fearing the worst. Like always, Cecily would not give up until she got her way. He relented, and now they walked together along the water in Hyde Park.

“There is nothing here,” Cecily said, disappointed, holding her ruby necklace in her fingers. “I thought we would have seen them this time.”

Will leaned against a tree and adjusted the seraph blade in his grip. “I hope we don’t see them at all. I do not feel like returning to Tessa disheveled and filthy.”

“It would not be the first time,” Cecily answered dismissively. “Nor will it be the last.”

Will laughed. “You’re right. I do suppose I look rather heroic and dashing like that.”

“Rather dreadful of a thought.” She appeared disgusted, but Cecily had to admit that she did enjoy seeing Gabriel return from a hunt with an air of heroics. It had been over a year since she married him, but she remembered it fondly as if it was yesterday.

Cecily moved to stand at Will’s side. She looked around at the park. It was late, but there had been too many reports to ignore. A cold, autumn breeze pricked at her skin. After a moment, she began to climb the tree.

Will vaguely acknowledged her. “Do try not to disturb the birds.”

“Will, Will, there is nothing wrong with the birds.” Cecily perched on a branch close to the trunk of the tree. She could see more of the park from up here, and it was unsettling. It seemed darker than usual, much darker than it should have been on a November night. As they waited, Cecily began to feel strange. It was as if she was watching everything through a thick cloud, her stomach clenching, and she nearly lost her balance.  
  
She caught herself. Her necklace began to pulse and glow, illuminating her face in the darkness. In the distance, Cecily saw movement. She grabbed her stele, drew a vision rune onto her arm, and looked again. This time, Cecily saw Shax demons.

“ _Will_.” She looked down. “Will, I see them.”

He looked up at her before straightening up, seeing the red glow of her pendant. “Where?”

“Near the pond, just ahead. I don’t think there are many,” she answered. She dropped from the tree, holding her seraph blade, and whispered “ _Uriel.”_ Will’s blade lit up beside her. Together, they crept toward the pond. The demons didn’t seem to see them; their attention lay on the small pub that sat on the other side of the clearing. Cecily signaled to Will and they split. She inhaled deeply, then broke into a sprint.

The first demon dissolved violently.

Will had run directly up to the closest one and sank his seraph blade into its distorted body. Ichor sprayed and the other demons turned on him. Cecily caught one’s attention as she approached from the side and it moved to throw her back. Cecily rolled out of the way then struck it with her knife. As it screeched, she buried her seraph blade deep into its chest.

She looked over at Will, who had the last two demons cornering him. Cecily thought fast. With a start, she jumped onto one of the demons. She struggled to hold on and dropped her seraph blade. It landed in the grass beside Will. He grabbed it and immediately killed the other Shax demon. Will’s body whirled around to find Cecily still clinging to the body of the other, waving her other knife and inflicting injury.

“Get _off_ , Cecy!” Will shouted at her.

“Throw me a seraph blade!” She shouted back. Will angrily through one to her, but as it approached her, the demon grabbed her body off its own. She landed on the ground, her arm making a sickening crack as she did. Cecily cursed loudly. The fight went silent. Through the haze and pain, Cecily saw Will standing in the place where the demon last stood, covered in ichor and dirt. Will cursed as he approached her. “ _Idiot_.”

Cecily could not answer him. She still felt terrible and could hardly hear him.

“What, no response?” He checked her arm and sighed, pulling out his stele. He tilted her head forward and drew an _iratze_ on her neck. “You’re lucky it did not get you too deeply, Cecy. This could have been much worse.”

Cecily opened her mouth to answer but lurched forward and vomited into the grass instead. Her body heaved and she fell to her knees, placing her hand onto the ground to hold herself up.

“ _Cecily!_ ” Will kneeled next to her, holding her shoulders as she finished. She shivered and sat back. Will only stared in surprise and worry. “What on earth was that?” His face flickered in realization. “Cecy, tell me right now. Are you hurt anywhere else? Did it poison you?”

“I am quite unhurt,” she finally said. Her feeling of haze and distance seemed to dissipate, though her stomach churned. “Perhaps it was just the sight of those hideous creatures. Ugly things, they are. Can never stand the sight of them.”

Will looked at her in a way that told her that he did not believe her. “You’ve faced demons for years, but it is these that make you ill?”

Cecily swallowed and began to stand. “I feel fine, now. There is nothing to worry about. Like I said, I am unhurt and you have already given me an _iratze_.” She looked at Will.

He still did not appear to believe her, but he stopped asking questions. “All right. Let us go home, then, so that I may woo Tessa with my heroic appearance.”

  
Cecily did not feel like bathing when she arrived home, but Gabriel would not have any of it.

“Cecy, you are covered in ichor and blood,” he had exclaimed. “There is a bath prepared in the washroom for you.”

So here Cecily lay, her eyes closed. She still felt ill, though she reassured herself that she just needed some sleep. The grime floated away from her skin as Adelaide, the mundane servant who worked for both Lightwood families on occasion, prepared her nightgown.

“No tales of glory and vindication, tonight, Mrs. Lightwood?” Adelaide teased. Cecily smiled.

“Not tonight, unfortunately. A rather ordinary encounter with demons, if I must say,” she answered. “Though, I did feel slightly unwell after. Perhaps I’ve done too much hunting recently.”

Adelaide helped her out of the bath and into her nightgown. “For you? No such thing.” She gathered up the last of the laundry as Gabriel entered. “I’ll be heading home now, if there is nothing else you require of me?”

“No, thank you, Adelaide. Goodnight, and do be careful,” Gabriel answered as she left. He smiled at Cecily, then raised an eyebrow. “No victorious exclamation?”

“If everyone must know, I feel quite satisfied with my performance this evening,” Cecily huffed. “I just feel quite tired and would like to sleep.”

Gabriel held her face in his hands and kissed her softly. “Alright, my love. Off to sleep. I’ll join you in a moment.” He prepared for bed as Cecily crawled into the sheets.

She closed her eyes and willed the ill feeling to go away.

“Did everything go well?” Gabriel had asked Will as Cecily grudgingly went with Adelaide upstairs. “From the looks of you two, I assume the reports were correct.”

Will nodded grimly. “Yeah, they were there all right. A group of them. Luckily it was a small group. Any more of them and I don’t think Cecily and I alone could have handled it.”

Gabriel feigned shock. “The great Will Herondale cannot handle a group of Shax demons late at night in an empty Hyde Park? Why, the Angel has surely forsaken us now.”

Will ignored him. “Cecily, though. She got sick after the fight. Right into the lawn.” He looked at Gabriel, who had dropped his mocking gaze. “I checked her for injuries and poison, but there weren’t any. Minor scrapes, nothing an _iratze_ didn’t heal. But she seems to blame the sight of the demons as the cause of her sudden illness.”

“That can’t possibly be it.”

“Exactly,” Will agreed. “I didn’t believe her either. But she refused to say anything more about it.”

Gabriel frowned. It was not like Cecily to refrain much from her brother. “I’ll watch over her. You know that.”

Will’s faced twisted, some sort of mixture of mild annoyance and resignation. “Yes, I know that. I most definitely would not have allowed her to marry you if I did not think you would keep her safe.”

Gabriel stared. “She would not have listened to you anyway.”

“A brother can try.”

“Goodnight, Will,” Gabriel said pointedly. Will smirked, said goodbye, and walked out the door of their home.

Gabriel looked up toward the stairs. He thought he had noticed Cecily’s pale face as she returned but did not want to burden her with questions when she was obviously tired.

He ventured into the study to organize his things, giving Cecily a moment to finish up her bath before heading to bed. A stack of letters from the Clave rest in the center of his desk, reminding him of the rise in demon sightings around London. He had hoped Will and Cecily’s hunt would have found answers, but they returned with little more information than they had left with.

With a sigh, Gabriel turned and left the room.


	3. Ill Mornings

Cecily did not wake pleasantly.

The ill feelings had not disappeared as she had hoped. She looked over at Gabriel, who remained peacefully asleep bedside her. She brushed the hair from his face before quietly slipping out of bed, trying not to wake him.

She moved over beside the window and opened it slightly. The cool air felt nice against her clammy skin, but the ill feeling would not go away. As she stood, she watched as London came to life. Carriages passed by in the distance, and muted sounds of who she assumed to be Gideon, Sophie and the girls in the kitchen rose to the bedroom. Gabriel stirred, but did not wake.

Cecily focused on breathing. _I cannot possibly join Gabriel on patrol today if I cannot even get my wits about me,_ she thought. The scents of tea and biscuits floated through the room—and Cecily promptly threw up into a vase near the window.

Gabriel shot up quickly at the sound, looking around the room until his eyes landed on Cecily, her body lurched over the vase in her hands. He threw the sheets off his body and ran to her.

“Cecily!” He held her as she sank to the ground. Her hands shook as her body heaved. Gabriel brushed her hair behind her and held it in one fist, his other hand rubbing her back. “Oh, it’s all right,” he murmured. She pulled the vase away from her body but did not look at him. She kept her eyes closed for fear that if she opened them, she would get sick again. Gabriel called for Sophie, but it sounded a thousand miles away.

“Cecy, are you able to stand?”

She shook her head slowly and made a quiet sound of misery. Gabriel tensed beside her. “Is this the same ill you felt last night, at Hyde Park with Will?”

“Yes.” She still did not open her eyes. “Though I thought it would have passed by now.”

Gabriel began to look over her. “I knew I should have questioned Will further. Are you absolutely certain you were not poisoned? It’s happened before.”

Cecily swallowed and waited a moment before answering. “Because it has happened before, I think I would know if that is what was happening now, Gabriel.” She closed her mouth quickly and brought the vase back up to her face. After a few seconds, Cecily threw up again.

“Oh, Cecily!” Sophie hurried into the room and dropped to her knees beside them. “Gabriel, please fetch some water and cloths.”

“Is she going to be okay, Sophie?” Gabriel asked quickly. “I’m not leaving until I know she’s okay.”

“She’ll be fine, I promise. The cloths, please, Gabriel.”

Gabriel kissed Cecily’s head and fled the room. Cecily shakily lifted her head to look at her sister-in-law. “Sophie, I feel quite awful.”

“I know,” Sophie answered with a sad smile. “It’ll pass. Let’s get you up.”

Gabriel returned once Cecily had managed to return to the bed to sit. He handed Sophie the contents in his hands and returned to Cecily’s side. Sophie cleaned Cecily’s face with the cloths and glanced between her and Gabriel. “How many times has this happened?”

“The first I saw of it was this morning,” Gabriel answered, frowning. “Will was with her last night when it happened. Cecy, has it happened before that?”

Cecily groaned and squeezed her eyes shut. “Gabriel, I need to speak with Sophie privately. Please.”

“What?“ Gabriel protested. “What on earth could Sophie do that your _husband_ cannot!”

Sophie stared, stunned. Cecily was glad, for once, that Gabriel was too worried to think clearly. “There are a few things.” She looked at him and smiled reassuringly. “Sophie will help me dress. Then we will leave for breakfast.”

He shook his head. “I wish you would tell me, Cecy. But, all right. I will see you both downstairs.”

“Oh, Cecily, a baby!” Sophie cried happily, lacing Cecily’s corset. “This is quite wonderful news!”  
  
“I have not seen the Silent Brothers yet, Sophie,” Cecily smiled. “That is the only reason why I haven’t told Gabriel.”

Sophie finished helping Cecily into her dress, chattering on about finally having a niece or nephew and a cousin for her daughters. Telling Sophie was the first time Cecily had ever said her thoughts out loud. _Sophie, I think I may be pregnant._

“Why haven’t you seen the Silent Brothers if you have suspected this is the case for so long?” Sophie asked her as they finished dressing. “You know Gabriel will be so lovely about it.”

“I do not want to break his heart if it is not true,” Cecily replied and opened the door to her bedroom. “Please keep this between us, Sophie. I will see the Silent Brothers soon.”  
  
  
  


The carriage ride had not been kind to Cecily. The cobblestones along the street had made for a bumpy ride, and she remained green for much of it.

Gabriel had taken her hand and watched her closely. “Cecily, do we need to stop? You do not look well.”

“No,” Cecily mustered. “Keep going.” Gabriel did not look pleased as she glanced at him and she sighed. “I will feel better once we have breakfast.”

“We should have taken the Portal,” he told her, pulling her closer to him. “It would have been much less of a rough ride. I’m beginning to worry that you are hiding something from me.”

Cecily rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes and letting herself feel relaxed. She silently thanked Raziel that Sophie and Gideon had taken a different carriage with their daughters. “I promise,” she told him. “That if anything should happen, you will be the first to know.”

  
“You cannot hang an enormous portrait of yourself in the Institute, Will,” Tessa told him. “It is not humbling.”

Cecily entered the dining room on Gabriel’s arm and was immediately overcome by all the scents in the room. Her stomach churned and she pursed her lips shut, hoping to make it through the morning.

“Well, all right, an enormous heron then,” Will answered her. “To remind the world that it is the Herondale’s who run this Institute and that you are a Herondale, too.”

Tessa smiled at him. Cecily admired them quietly, arriving at her seat between Will and Gabriel. Breakfast began to be served, and all the scents continued having Cecily turning green. As they ate, they discussed the growing concern of demon activity.

“It is not just London,” Gideon said. “We are hearing of them all over Europe. Not so much from America, I’m afraid. They still do not like to share their reports with us so easily.”

Will frowned. “There must be something attracting them. We’ve seen waves like this before. We need to find the source before we become overwhelmed.” Will looked at Tessa. “We do not need to find ourselves fighting this alone, not again.”

Cecily had stopped eating. She felt the ill feeling growing stronger and unconsciously reached her hand toward Gabriel. He immediately put down his utensils and grabbed her hand. “Cecy,” he said, worry growing in his voice. It caught Will’s attention instantly. “Cecy, is it happening again?”

Cecily could not answer. She only squeezed his hand tightly, but Gabriel got the message. “She needs a bucket, quickly,” he told the maid, who rushed off to the kitchen. Gabriel left his seat and kneeled next to her.

“You still feel unwell?” Will asked her. “It has not gone away?”

“Has what gone away?” Tessa watched Cecily with concern. “Oh, Cecily.”

The maid returned with the bucket, which Cecily grabbed. She turned in her seat, away from the table, and threw up into it. Will shot out of his seat, prompting a startled yelp from Henry, who had finally looked up.

Gabriel held her as she heaved. Despite emptying the contents of her stomach, Cecily felt her neck and face turning red from embarrassment.

“That is it,” Will exclaimed. “I told you we needed to look at this more closely. I’m summoning the Silent Brothers.”

Gabriel agreed, though Cecily said nothing. She kept trying to focus on keeping calm. She hated this ill feeling and the presence of Sophie’s eyes on her. Sophie had said nothing, save for a startled gasp when Cecily first began throwing up, but kept her promise.


	4. Positively Wonderful

_The wind blew quietly, rustling the leaves of the large oak trees in the garden. Barbara squealed as her father chased her around the flowerbeds. Cecily sat beside Gabriel on a bench overlooking the father and daughter. Sophie stood off along the path, little Eugenia in her arms, shaking her head with a smile._

_“Gabriel,” Cecily whispered. She felt him look down at her, but she kept her eyes on Barbara. “Have you ever thought—” she paused. “Have you ever considered having children?”_

_He did not answer her right away. Cecily tensed, worried that she had said something too soon. They had only been married for ten months, but as she watched their niece run around the garden, she felt an ache, a longing, in her heart. It was steady, unlike the powerful sense of belonging she felt the day she chose to remain in London as a Shadowhunter, but it was there all the same. And it wasn’t entirely spontaneous—she had been with Gabriel, in total, for nearly six years._

_“Yes,” Gabriel finally answered. She looked at him and found him smiling at her gently. His green eyes were bright. “Before I met you, I hardly thought about what my life would look like beyond Shadowhunting.” He took her hand in his. “But now I look at Gideon with Sophie, and Barbara and Eugenia. When I look at you, I know that I want that, too.”_

_Cecily felt her heartbeat quicken in her chest. “So that is a yes, then? You want to have a family of our own?”_

_Gabriel brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. “Absolutely.”_

Cecily expected the protests when she told her husband and brother that she wanted to speak with the Silent Brothers privately. The term _bewildered_ did not seem to fully capture the look upon Gabriel’s face, nor did the word _fury_ fully describe the look on Will’s.

But she was certain that if the news she received did not align with her expectations, she did not want them to carry the sadness along with her. As the door closed behind her, and the faces of the two men stared back at her in worry, Cecily felt a sudden wave of anxiety. She was still so used to being independent, so confident in her ability to control her emotions, but this could be news she was not willing to accept.

A few long, dreadful minutes of answering questions and sitting still passed. Finally, the Silent Brother turned to her. _Congratulations, Mrs. Lightwood._ Brother Micah said to her. _You are expecting your first child._

Cecily’s anxiety melted. Joy filled her entire body, momentarily making her forget the whirling in her stomach that had made her ill only a short time earlier. She could imagine it now, a beautiful baby made of her and her loving husband. All at once, Cecily pictured all the possible ways their child would look like them. Would they have her eyes, or Gabriel’s? His hair or her’s?

“Ohh,” said Cecily, her voice wavering in a mix of disbelief and excitement. “Oh, I had suspected, but I couldn’t have imagined the way it would feel to hear it.”

_You will need to rest,_ Brother Micah told her. _These bouts of illness will not go away entirely. I fear this may not be easy, but I know you, Cecily Lightwood. You are not one to be easily discouraged._

Cecily’s hands rested on her stomach, where any sign of her child had not yet appeared visibly. Her husband’s face flickered in her mind, playing with their nieces with a large smile softening the sharp lines that formed his features. “I’m ready,” she assured him. “You are right. It will take more than sickness to shake my determination. Will you please tell my husband I’d like to see him? I cannot stand the thought of him not knowing any longer.”

When the door finally opened, Gabriel did not remember standing. He only knew that he now stood face to face with Brother Micah. Well, face to hood.

"Is she—”

_Your wife is quite all right, Mr. Lightwood,_ Brother Micah told him, moving aside. _She wishes to see you now._

Gabriel’s heart jumped and he entered the room. Will’s annoyed voice piped up behind him, demanding to be allowed to see his sister, too. The door closed behind Gabriel.

“Cecily?” He asked, approaching her bedside. Cecily’s skin was still flushed, but she beamed at him, her eyes bright. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I feel wonderful, Gabriel,” she told him wistfully. Tension melted from his body and he took her hands in his.

“You have given me enough frights today, Cecy. I cannot believe you wished me to stay outside.” He searched her face. Her blue eyes gleamed at him. “You seem to be bursting with news. What is it? Are you all right?”

Cecily nodded and placed her hand on his cheek. Even now, her touch sent sparks dancing across his skin. Tears welled in her eyes and breathed: “Gabriel, we’re going to be parents.”

His eyes widened, his heart stopping then beating quickly. “Parents?” He sputtered. “Do you mean you’re—”

“Yes! Yes, I’m carrying a child; Brother Micah confirmed it. We are going to be parents, Gabriel!”

Suddenly, the whole world seemed brighter. Gabriel stared into Cecily’s shining eyes and remembered the first time he ever saw her; if only he could go back and tell that version of himself just how important that stubborn, headstrong Herondale girl would be to him. That he would blindly follow her into a Portal, fall completely in love with her, and make a fool of himself in the stables moments before kissing her for the first time. That he would have the absolute honor of being her husband and now, the father of her child.

His heart continued to pound loudly against his chest. Placing his own hand on top of hers on his cheek, he pulled her close with his other and breathed. “Oh, by the Angel, Cecily, _I love you._ ”

He kissed her, pouring every last bit of love in his body for her into it. He felt her relax his arms and smile against his lips. She pulled away from him and pressed her forehead to his. “I love you,” she whispered to him.

_I love you. We’re going to be parents. I love you. We’re having a baby._

Gabriel hoped and prayed, with all his heart, that he could be the man his wife and unborn child deserved. He thought about his brother and Sophie, with their nieces. They hadn’t had much money after their father’s scandal, and no home. Even after Charlotte had offered to return their land, the brothers decided to share a new home until their salaries could afford to support themselves. A fresh start for the name of Lightwood.

When Gideon had children, Gabriel offered to move back into the Institute. Gideon had sternly reminded him that he would never force Gabriel out, especially not when he was trying to convince Will to approve of him marrying Cecily. _What kind of impression does that leave?_ So, he stayed. Now married, Gabriel and Cecily seemed to live in both places, the Institute and Gideon’s Covent Garden home. Sophie had never minded when they stayed for long bouts of time, only requesting that they help care for their daughters. Gabriel had thought of it as such an obvious request that he was surprised they had felt the need to ask it at all.

They remained in peaceful bliss way for a while, holding each other and stealing kisses. Will’s voice had disappeared from beyond the door, obviously defeated in his attempts to find out what was happening. Birds chirped outside the near window, making Gabriel wish to preserve this moment in his memory for the rest of his life.

“When do you wish to tell our families?” Gabriel asked her softly. Cecily gazed up at him with her beautiful smile. His heart fluttered.

“Tonight,” she told him. “At dinner, if that is all right with you.”

For a moment, Gabriel considered the fact that he might well be murdered that night, then. “Do you think your brother is going to attempt to disembowel me?”

“If it eases your worries, I don’t think my brother would be one to leave his own niece or nephew fatherless.”

Gabriel scoffed dramatically.

“But I want everyone there,” Cecily continued. “Such a shame the mundanes would want to hide something so wonderful. I cannot imagine it.”

_Everyone_.

The word hung in a moment of silence. _Everyone_ did not mean either of their parents. Gabriel’s were long passed from the world. Cecily’s could not join her in hers.

“Then I will make sure of it,” Gabriel whispered to her. “Gideon, Will, Sophie, Tessa, Charlotte, Henry, Charles, Barbara, and Eugenia. I promise you.”

He did not mention Tatiana.

Cecily looked up at him. Her blue eyes were bright with happiness. Gabriel would have given up the world to keep her this happy forever. “Kiss me,” she told him.

Gabriel obliged.


	5. Brilliant News

Tessa became increasingly suspicious the longer Cecily had remained in the library with her.

It was not that she did not enjoy her sister-in-law’s company. In fact, she was rather glad when Cecily asked to join her. They had spent so little time together before she became engaged to Will and was glad to spend time with his sister now. But when Cecily had offered no resistance to being told to stay home from patrol that night, she knew Cecily was hiding something.

Cecily held her book high enough to hide her face from Tessa’s prying eyes. Every once in a while, Tessa would glance over to catch Cecily smiling, gazing wistfully into the empty library. She knew it was not because of the book.

“So,” Tessa spoke, startling Cecily out of her gaze. “Are you ever going to share what’s got you so happy?”

Cecily flushed and repositioned her book as if she had been reading it all along and had only now chosen to pause. “I told you, Brother Micah said I’m perfectly well. The illness must have been caused by the cold.”

“One would think you had just been told you’ve become the Queen, instead,” Tessa replied, raising her eyebrow. Cecily only continued smiling and, with a pointedly confident _hmph_ , returned to reading her book.

Oh, how much she wanted to know.

“Tonight?” Gideon asked incredulously. “But we were just in London this morning! We are supposed to be in Idris until the end of the week!”

Gabriel struggled to contain himself. He had found the closest portal to Idris and tracked down his brother in Alicante to personally request his presence. “But, Gideon, this is _important_!”

“I thought Cecily was feeling better,” Gideon answered, exasperated. “And if this is so important, why not tell me now seeing as you traveled all the way here.”

“Because I cannot tell you without Sophie and the girls,” Gabriel said quickly. “Please do not make me answer any more questions until dinner.”

Gideon stared at him as if he could see into his soul. Gabriel forced himself again to regain composure, hoping to stop Gideon from becoming any more suspicious. Footsteps came and passed along the corridor outside Gideon’s Alicante study.

“Okay,” Gideon relented. “We will return to London to have dinner with you this evening. But I surely hope this really is important, Gabriel. You know how much Barbara hates the portal.”

“Thank you, Gideon!” Gabriel grinned. “I promise you will not be disappointed.”

Gideon cracked a smile and shook his head. “I am on to you, Gabriel. I have my suspicions, but I will wait, for your sake.”

_“Gabriel, this is Barbara,” Gideon said quietly, placing a delicate bundle of limbs and blankets into his arms as he sat in an armchair. “Barbara, say hello to your uncle Gabriel.”_

_Gabriel was lost in the brown eyes that stared back at him. He had protested, at first, when asked if he wanted to hold Gideon and Sophie’s new baby. He had never held an infant before, not even his nephew Jesse, whom his sister Tatiana had adamantly refused to let him meet until the child was over a year old. But they insisted, and now he held a tiny life in his arms, a little girl named after his mother._

_"She is so small,” Gabriel whispered. Barbara blinked sleepily at him, a small gesture, but it was enough to make his heart melt. Gideon stood beside him, hovering, in case anything should happen to his precious daughter._

_But Gabriel knew in that moment that he would treat his niece like she was his own, for she was blood. Gabriel felt an intense duty to make sure he protected his brother’s family just as Gideon would protect his. Cecily’s face appeared in his mind._

_“She’s beautiful,” Gabriel said in awe as he looked up at Gideon and Sophie, who smiled back._

_“Cecily has already demanded to be her caretaker when needed,” he added with a soft chuckle. “And she hasn’t even met her yet.”_

_“Perhaps she should be next,” Sophie answered. “Seeing as one day Barbara will be calling her Aunt Cecily, I predict.”_

_Gabriel turned a bright shade of red and immediately looked back at Barbara. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”_

“What do you mean they’re not sending help?” Gabriel demanded. He sat across from Will, who rubbed his eyes and sighed. “Can’t the Clave see there’s something happening here? They cannot possibly believe this is regular activity.”

“Thank for you explaining the last ten years of my experience with the Clave to me, Gabriel,” Will answered without looking up. “Must I remind you I rode across England and Wales alone because the Clave would not believe us about Mortmain.”

Gabriel’s face twisted in anger and annoyance. “Surely Gideon will convince them otherwise.”

“In the meantime,” Will stated, ignoring Gabriel’s growing irritation. “We patrol as normal. We still do not have the full support of the Enclave, despite Charlotte’s position as Consul. They still think Tessa’s residence at the Institute is an insult to the Nephilim and refuse to support our reports.”

“So, I suppose we are on our own again, aren’t we?”

“Well, I would hope you’d considered my remarkable talent as an ally, but I see we still prefer to wallow in our own pride and self-pity,” Gideon remarked, stepping through the portal with Sophie and his daughters. Barbara did not look happy. Behind him emerged Charlotte with Charles.

“Charlotte!” Gabriel exclaimed happily. “I am quite glad you received my message.”

Charlotte glanced at him, puzzled. “Yes, I was surprised to read your rather haste request for dinner. I was worried something terrible had happened with Cecily.”

“Oh, she’s doing well,” Will answered. “She’s been resting up in the library with Tessa for most of the day.”

Charlotte raised a brow but said nothing, while Sophie seemed increasingly interested in the bonnet on Eugenia’s head.

“Are you ready?” Gabriel asked Cecily as they approached the doors to the dining room. “And you’re sure you feel all right enough to eat?”

“Yes,” said Cecily confidently. She placed one hand on her stomach and held onto his arm with the other. “This is good news. Angel knows everyone’s been needing some of that around here.”

She watched as his face lit up and her heart skipped a beat. He kissed her before opening the dining room doors and beckoning her to follow.

As they entered, she looked at everyone gathered at the table. She still had a fascination with observing people, even after her feelings of loneliness disappeared the longer she remained with the Shadowhunters. They had become her family in those years after the Clockwork War. Then she married Gabriel, and immediately became legally related to more than half the Institute. As a result, she knew them well and knew that every person in that dining room suspected something of them. Cecily pointedly avoided meeting anyone’s eyes as she felt herself turning red. She sat beside Gabriel, directly across from her brother, and began preparing herself to eat.

“Oh, for the love of the Angel,” Gideon cried. “You cannot possibly think that any of us are willing to wait until _after_ dinner to hear whatever it is that is _so important_.”

Will looked up and narrowed his eyes at Cecily. She cleared her throat and looked away from Will quickly, instead looking at Gabriel. He was looking back at her, his eyes seeming to ask, _do you want to announce it now_? She nodded, smiling softly at him. Together, they stood, and Cecily became intimately aware of just how many eyes were on her now.

“As you know, I had a visit with Brother Micah this morning regarding my recent illness,” Cecily said. “And I reported to you all that there was nothing to report, that it was simply the cold and I only needed a day’s rest. I lied.”

Will’s eyes widened and he slammed his hands on the table, frightening Barbara, who whimpered. Gideon pulled her into his lap and glared at Will. “Perhaps we don’t slam our fists on the dinner table, shall we?”

Will glanced apologetically at Barbara before returning his attention to Cecily. “You _lied_? I cannot believe you didn’t tell me the truth, Cecily, I’m your brother!” He glanced wildly around the others seated at the table. When he realized he was the only one furious, he looked at Tessa. “Am I missing something here? Why am I the _only_ one not happy that Cecily has lied about her illness?”

Tessa smiled. “Just sit, Will. Let them speak.” He sat.

“I am not ill,” Cecily confirmed. She laced her fingers with Gabriel’s, who was looking at her in complete adoration, and placed her other hand on her stomach. Charlotte began squealing. Will froze. “I’m pregnant.”

Cheers erupted from the table. Sophie let out the breath she had been visibly holding and beamed at Gideon, who smiled smugly at Gabriel. “I knew it!” He proclaimed and stood, hoisting Barbara up and resting her on one side. “Congratulations, brother!”

Cecily smiled, relieved to have finally shared the news with everyone. She glanced around, watching everyone react. Charlotte was pawing at her eyes, trying to catch her tears as she and Sophie nodded in conversation. Even Henry had shouted in glee and congratulated them. Tessa, too, smiled at Cecily.

“Cecy, that is wonderful!” said Tessa. She rose from her chair and moved around the table, pulling Cecily into a warm embrace. “Oh, I’m so happy for you both!”

She felt Gabriel’s arm wrap around her, and she looked up to see him glowing with happiness. “Thank you, Tessa,” he answered. Cecily leaned into his chest and inhaled deeply. She then turned to face Will.

He had not yet moved from his position, though his eyes were following Cecily’s movements as she wringed her hands. “Will?” she asked, tentatively. Gabriel tensed. The room stilled in anticipation of his response. “Will, _peidiwch â bod yn ddig. Rwy'n hapus. Rwyf am i chi fod yn hapus i mi hefyd._ ”

He began to nod slowly, but Cecily’s heart still beat loudly in her ears. _Please do not be angry,_ she had told him. _I am happy. I want you to be happy for me, too._

Will breathed out slowly. He began to smile, though there was sadness in his eyes. “ _Rwy'n dy garu di, cariad_. You’re going to be a wonderful mother,” he said finally.

After dinner, Cecily found her brother in the training room. It was dark, the witchlights flickering dimly. She watched as he threw knife after knife into the target. For a while she said nothing, standing only in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

“How long do you plan on standing there, hiding like a ghost?” Will said, breaking the silence without turning to face her. Cecily jumped at the suddenness of his voice.

“I did not want to interrupt,” Cecily answered, stepping further into the room. “Lest I become the new target.”

Will shook his head and removed the knives from the wall. Cecily stood awkwardly, unsure how to speak to Will for the first time in her life. Even when Gabriel proposed, she had felt no hesitation in finding him. But now, this was different. “Will, I—”

“Don’t,” Will interrupted looking at her. “You don’t have to be afraid of me, Cecy. I’m not angry.”

“I think it is Gabriel who is frightened to be near you, not me,” Cecily answered, offering a smile. “In fact, I believe he has situated himself as far away from this training room as he can possibly get without leaving the Institute.” The corners of Will’s lips twitched, as if he were trying to hold back a smile of his own. “I am only worried because I expected more of an outburst from you than _cariad_. Perhaps a death threat or two, or a teacup flying.”

Will sighed and placed the knives back into their holds. “Truthfully, Cecy, I am not sure how to feel. I cannot be angry, because you are married, even if it is to Gabriel Lightwood. I cannot be angry, because I know this is obviously something you want. How can I be angry when you are happy?”

“It is not anger I see in you now,” Cecily said quietly. “Anger and fear are what I saw in you when I first joined the Nephilim. This is not that. You are sad.” Will sat on a bench next to where Cecily stood. He did not answer. In the distance, Cecily could hear the chatter among their friends and family. The melody of the bells from a nearby clock tower chimed. Swiftly, she sat beside her brother and placed a hand on his arm. “ _Gwilym_.”

“You’re so grown up,” Will said, patting her hand gently. “I suppose I forget that you are not the little girl I remember from Wales. You’re a Shadowhunter, and a good one too, who married another Shadowhunter and are now carrying another Shadowhunter.” His eyes widened suddenly. “Don’t get me wrong, though, Cecy. I am happy for you.”

Cecily felt a knot in her throat. _You will not cry, Cecily Lightwood,_ she scolded herself. “You said I will be a wonderful mother. Did you really mean that? I am known to be quite rash sometimes.” Will laughed. Cecily smiled and sat up straight, glad she could get him to feel something other than sorrow.

“Yes, I meant it,” Will said to her. “Despite your marriage to Lightworm, you are still a Herondale. And we are all known to be quite rash.”

Cecily laughed and rested her head on Will’s shoulder. “You may think I am so grown up, Will, but we are family and I will always need you. You are this child’s uncle.”

She felt Will’s arm wrap around her in a gentle embrace. “That is true. And Gideon Lightwood is a fool if he thinks he is going to be the favorite uncle.”


	6. Soft to Be Strong

_To: William Herondale  
_ _London Institute  
_ _From: Consul Charlotte Fairchild_

_Will,_

_I am writing to you without the knowledge of the Council. Please know that this is of the upmost secrecy, but I cannot fathom letting you all go about London knowing what it is I know._

_The Clave has chosen to deny your requests for increased patrols. They do not believe this increase in demonic activity has any substance behind it. They believe it to be a remnant of memory from our experiences in the Clockwork War. But I suspect something else. These patterns are not usual. I do not know what it is, but I fear we may not learn of the source soon enough._

_With children now in our families, we cannot risk anything. We must be careful. Please take care of yourselves. I will return to London as soon as I can._

_Charlotte_

_  
_ _Covent Garden, London  
_ _December 1883_

  
Cecily did not know how much longer she could handle it.

After a rather spirited and spiteful tirade one morning a fortnight ago, of which her husband remained only a silent and apprehensive observer, Cecily had forgone wearing a corset. It only seemed to squeeze the contents of her stomach and make her already strenuous mornings a bigger nuisance. Charlotte and Sophie’s advice to switch to a simple tea dress seemed like the greatest discovery anyone in history could have ever made to Cecily. Yet, every day she still felt very much unlike herself.

She agreed to a reduction in her patrols, which had eased her own conscious as it did the worries of her family. She did not want to put others’ lives at risk with her sudden dizzy spells, of which no rune had been able to help. She felt useless and bored while the others continued their duties as Shadowhunters. As if that weren’t enough, Cecily wore an almost perpetual look of pain and had become increasingly pale as the days and weeks went on.

Even now, she only watched from the window of Gabriel’s study into the garden, where Sophie and the girls were enjoying a stroll along the shrubbery while Gideon and Gabriel claimed to have needed to make a trip to the market. She knew they were lying but was too tired to care.

Cecily placed a hand on her growing stomach, where a bump had begun to show beneath her tea dress. The Silent Brothers had estimated that she was nearly three months pregnant now, and the ill feelings had not gone away as she had hoped. She found herself tiring easily most days, and vomiting whenever someone near her ate food with a strong scent.

She glanced around the room and spotted old dishes on her husband’s desk, remnants of the nights he ate dinner in his study so that the smell of his food would not make her sick. With a soft hum, Cecily collected the dishes and journeyed to the kitchen to wash, imagining the various ways her child would look like her.

“Then what, do tell, is it that I brought you here for?”

Gabriel was exasperated. He had not known where they were heading, actually, when he hurried Gideon out of the house with a quick goodbye to their wives and a vague excuse. He had not intended to actually end up at the market, let alone inside a children’s shop, where Gideon had found a delicate new doll for Barbara to gift her on Christmas in the coming days. It seemed strange to him, to stand along an assortment of children’s items and actually stop to consider some of them for his own. It was a nice feeling until Gideon began interrogating him.

“You’re scared,” Gideon stated as they exited and continued their walk along the Thames.

Gabriel gasped indignantly. “I am not _scared_ of children’s clothing and nappies.”

“No,” Gideon nodded. He stopped, turned to face his brother, and pressed a finger into Gabriel’s chest. “You are scared of being a father. That is why you brought me on this ridiculous stroll.”

Gabriel’s face hardened. It was true; that was exactly why he had forced his brother out of the house. As Cecily’s middle grew, so did his fears. He dared not speak of them to his wife, who he knew was strong and capable. She held herself high with pride and confidence always. His Cecily knew her worth. Gabriel did not know his.

He had a fine career with the Clave, but that did not give him peace, not like he had expected it would while growing up. Although his habits of worrying what his father would say of him now had gradually faded away the longer he stayed at the Institute, and the closer he became with Cecily, he could still find moments in which he felt exceptionally disappointing. With the impending arrival of his first child, Gabriel had never felt so inadequate.

Sure, he could have asked Henry what to expect, but he decided that Henry would likely have tried to convince him to try a new experiment, potentially explosive, instead of imparting helpful fatherhood advice. No, Gideon was a much better option, albite his only other option. “I see I am correct,” Gideon confirmed when Gabriel did not answer and placed his hands into his pockets. His eyes softened. “You mustn’t worry so much, Gabriel.”

“You worried,” Gabriel said stiffly. “You told me so. Forgive me if I find myself having similar reservations about my parenting ability.”

“This is about our father, isn’t it? You’re worried you don’t have great examples of fatherhood.”

“I’m worried that he taught me all the wrong things.” Gabriel’s voice wavered and he scolded himself for being weak. “How can I be a good father when I killed my own?”

Gideon sighed. “I think,” he began slowly. “I think that _because_ of him you will be a great father, Gabriel. I see how you are with Barbara and Eugenia; they adore you.”

“Yes, but it is different. They are _your_ daughters,” Gabriel replied, throwing his hands up. Gideon did not flinch. “I love them, Gideon, I do, but it is not the same as having my own. I look at Cecy and I see our child, and I’m _terrified_.”

A moment passed between them before Gideon embraced his brother and led him to a bench beside Waterloo Bridge. They sat beside each other, and Gabriel let out a shaky breath. “I asked Cecy, once, right before we faced Mortmain at Cadair Idris, if loyalty was still an admirable quality even when it is misdirected. She told me I didn’t have to bear Father’s sins. That I could redeem the Lightwood name; that she had faith in me. When I proposed to her, I asked if she even wanted to take the name Lightwood, fearing I hadn’t done enough to rid Father’s stain on our family. But when she told me yes, I—” Gabriel swallowed, then continued with a frustrated sigh. “I suppose I just thought I would feel different when it came time to having children. More assured. But I’m still worried that Father’s sins will forever haunt me, and that they will haunt my children as well.”

“Cecily is very smart,” Gideon replied carefully. “And she’s right. _We_ do not have to be the kind of fathers he would have expected of us, nor must we continue to bear his sins or allow our children to. Cecily and Sophie do not see our father when they look at us. They see _us_. We choose who we want to be. What kind of father do _you_ want to be, Gabriel?”

Gabriel stared at his brother, who seemed so confident and sure when it came to his family that he had never considered that Gideon may have harbored the same fears once. “I want to be someone my children can come to, no matter what. I don’t want them to be afraid of me,” Gabriel whispered. He stopped to ponder a moment, then added: “To do right by the Law and by our family. I want them to know unconditional love.” Gideon smiled softly at him and leaned back against the stone of Waterloo Bridge. Snow had begun falling, and the shadows of the falling ice danced across the floor between the Lightwood brothers and damped their hair and coats.

“Well then, brother,” Gideon said, his voice assured. “I believe you’re on the right path.”

  
Cecily’s stomach hurt.

It was not something she had ever experienced before, not quite like this. She gasped, dropping her book onto the floor of the study. The pain came and went, sending waves of nausea and lightheadedness while anxiety coursed through her bones. It was evening now, becoming dark enough to bring the other inhabitants inside for dinner soon. She tried to reach the window, to desperately get Sophie’s attention, but when Sophie did not look up, Cecily turned and rushed down the corridor toward the stairs.

When she reached the top, she stopped suddenly. Her vision blurred as another wave of intense nausea flooded her senses. She vomited the contents of her lunch and afternoon tea upon the landing. Her hands instantly clutched her middle, where her precious child grew. Fear set in.

Cecily pulled herself up and forced herself down the steps toward the entryway. She could hear voices outside, laughing and shouting. Her heart pounded. _Gabriel._

She reached the bottom of the steps, clutching the handrail as it was the only thing in the world holding her upright. The world rocked beneath her feet as she struggled to prevent herself from throwing up over more of the house. Brother Micah’s voice echoed in her head.

_These bouts of illness will not go away entirely. I fear this may not be easy._

The voices grew closer.

When the door finally opened, Cecily’s head jerked up, revealing the tears streaming down her face. “Cecy—Cecy are you all right?” Gabriel’s panicked voice flooded the room. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came. The floor suddenly came closer and Cecily realized she was falling. Warm arms quickly wrapped around her.

Through the blur, she could see Gabriel’s frightened eyes on her. As the sounds of the world became quieter and quieter, she whispered the words she never thought she’d ever say.

“Gabriel, _I’m afraid.”_  
  



	7. Falling Apart

Will Herondale had begun to despise the look of the Institute study.

For weeks, he sat in the cold room, pouring over every known demon sighting in the London Enclave records. A stack of correspondence from Gideon, Gabriel, and Charlotte seemed to only grow but their knowledge remained annoyingly stagnant. Once he learned of his sister’s pregnancy, Will’s dedication to finding the source of the surge only intensified. He hardly slept or ate anymore, and only emerged from the Institute to patrol or visit Cecily.

“Will,” a voice said quietly from the doorway. He looked up to see Tessa holding a plate of cold chicken and wine. She looked tired, perhaps as tired as he felt.

“Tess,” he smiled. “Did I miss dinner again?”

She said nothing as she walked up to his desk and placed the plate in front of him, right on top of the letter he had been writing. He sighed, taking her hand and gazing up into her gray eyes. “I’m sorry, Tessa, I truly did not realize the time.”

“It is not that,” Tessa answered, brushing the curls from his face. Her hands were soft. “I am worried for you. You cannot possibly fight at your best if you do not eat or sleep. How do you suppose Cecily would feel, if she knew you were depriving yourself of your health for the sake of hers? We both know she would not take too kindly to that.”

“No, she would not.”

Tessa sat along the edge of the desk, her skirts billowing outward like a cloud. Will watched as the fire flickered in the reflection of her eyes. “Eat,” she told him. With a kiss to her hand, he began to consume the cold chicken as if it was his last meal on earth. He really had not realized just how hungry he was.

Tessa lifted a letter from the growing pile of Will’s correspondence and frowned. Will glanced at the writing and noticed it was Charlotte’s latest post. “They truly do not wish to help us?” She asked, though it was not a question.

“No,” Will answered tightly. “Not only will the Enclave not help us, it seems no Shadowhunter anywhere will.” Tessa put the letter down and brushed the curls that had fallen back into his face.

“Then I suppose we shall prove them wrong again. Surely they must enjoy it, now, if they continue granting us the opportunity.”

Once finished, Will led Tessa out of the study, his empty dish in his had to return to the kitchen. She laughed as he kissed her swiftly, twirling her down the corridor. As they approached the kitchen, a loud crash sounded through the halls.

They raced to the doors of the Institute to find them burst open, with a wide-eyed Sophie standing in the entryway. She was out of breath, as if she had been running all the way from Covent Garden.

“Sophie!” said Tessa incredulously. “What happened—”

Sophie shook her head quickly. Her chest heaved as she struggled to catch her breath before looking straight into Will’s eyes, where he saw just how frantic she was. “ _Cecily_ ,” was all she said.

Will’s plate fell to the floor, shattering to pieces.

  
Will did not wait for the carriage to stop moving before jumping out and racing up the path to the Lightwoods’ Covent Garden home. The doors were open, where he entered the midst of a great commotion happening inside.

Barbara and Eugenia were crying loudly in the care of Adelaide, who tried her best to keep them from running to Sophie when she entered. Sophie was crying quietly, pulling Tessa into the house quickly behind Will. She had not been able to give him much information, to his frustrated dismay; only that Cecily had collapsed, Gabriel was with her, and Gideon had summoned the Silent Brothers.

And at the foot of the stairs lay a puddle that had obviously once been someone’s lunch. Will’s heart raced. He heard Gideon call his name, but he was too busy searching the room for his sister—or even his brother-in-law. Gabriel and Cecily were nowhere to be found.

“ _Will_ ,” Gideon repeated, now standing directly in front of him.

There was a loud buzzing in Will’s ears. “Where is she?” he demanded. He caught movement upstairs; a flicker of the robe of a Silent Brother. Will was up the stairs in a second, spotting another puddle of resurfaced lunch as he stumbled along the wall. The robes disappeared into a room at the corner, where he moved to before a strong grip pulled him back at the frame.

Gideon held his collar firmly, turning to make Will face him. “Will, please, stop for a moment and listen to me!”

Over Gideon’s shoulder he could see his sister. She was deathly pale and vomiting horribly. Beside her, on her left, were two Silent Brothers. And on her right—looking completely beside himself with worry—was Gabriel Lightwood. He was in his shirtsleeves, wrinkled, and his collar was undone, hair wild. His eyes were red; he’d obviously been crying.

Will struggled to find his voice to call out for Cecily, to tell her he was here. Gideon’s grip remained steady, but his eyes were wild, same as Will’s. “Will, there is nothing you can do. Barging in there in a panic will only scare her more than she already is!”

The panic, though, continued to rise in his throat. Tessa appeared behind him, and he felt her hand on his back. His eyes reluctantly shifted to Gideon. “What _happened_?” he asked through gritted teeth.

_  
“Oh, my precious girls!” Gideon shouted happily as he embraced them after their walk. Gabriel smiled, if not a bit envious, as he watched his brother with his family. It was only a matter of time, now, before he could bundle up his own family in his arms. He could imagine it now, the comfort and warmth of having his world right there in his grasp. The five of them entered through the door, laughing, only to stop short upon spotting Cecily at the foot of the staircase, rocking slowly._

_“Cecy—” Gabriel called tentatively. Her head snapped up toward him and he saw the tears falling down her cheeks. She was pale, so pale, and her eyes were wide. “Cecy, are you all right?” He asked, his voice revealing his panic._

_T_ _he next moments happened as if time had begun to move in agonizing slowness._

_Cecily began to fall, her eyes rolling as her legs gave out beneath her. Gabriel surged forward, sliding across the last few feet of space between them to catch her in his arms before she hit the ground. He sunk to his knees, keeping her head safely in the crook of his arm. He stared, terrified, as she struggled to keep her eyes open. “Gabriel,_ I’m afraid. _” Her voice was quiet, barely a whisper, but he heard them just the same._

_His blood ran cold. Something was terribly, terribly wrong. “I’m right here, Cecy,” he said hoarsely. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Please stay awake.” Her head lolled in his arm. Her breathing was shallow and ragged, and her skin seemed to get paler with every passing second._

_“Gideon!” Gabriel shouted desperately. “The Silent Brothers—and Will...”_

_He felt the air around him swirl as Gideon ran, confirming his intentions to summon the Silent Brothers. He distantly heard Sophie tell him she would fetch Will. He only kept his attention on his wife, begging her to stay awake, as his tears began falling._

_She_ was _awake, but barely. Her eyes fluttered as she moaned. Weakly, she turned in his arms and tried pushing him away as she vomited onto the floor beside them, but Gabriel stayed put. Only then did he realize the real risk he faced—this was no ordinary sickness. He could lose his wife and child forever._

_  
_ Will’s body started shaking as Gideon told him how they found Cecily when they arrived home. Gideon sounded distraught as he spoke of the haunted look in Gabriel’s eyes as the Silent Brothers arrived and brought Cecily upstairs into a bed; how Gabriel refused to leave her side, even as the vomiting turned to a horrid, intense choking as the contents of her stomach ran dry.

The violent lurching continued sporadically. With each new noise emerging from the room, Will’s heart twisted painfully. He could hear her strangled sobs. “The baby!” Cecily cried through her gasps. Her voice was weak. “What about _my baby_?”

“Jem—” Will choked. “ _Is Brother Zachariah with my sister?_ ”

Gideon nodded as Tessa grabbed Will’s arm, but it was too late. Will was already pushing his way into the room.

  
After what felt like an eternity, Cecily safely fell asleep.

Her skin was flushed, her hair damp with sweat. Gabriel sat beside her; her hand tight in his as an anchor to the world. He felt hollow inside, as if all the life had been carved out of him with a dull blade. His eyes burned.

_The pregnancy is the cause of her violent illness,_ Brother Zachariah told them. _It is rare, but it happens to Shadowhunters just as it does to mundanes. So long as she carries this child, Cecily will remain in danger of very poor health._

Gabriel looked at Will, whose eyes were just as red as his own. Clearly, the sight of Cecily in such a condition had sucked life out of him, too. Will cleared his throat and asked, “I need the truth, James. Is this condition fatal?” Gabriel choked and tightened his grip on Cecily’s hand.

_Not by itself,_ Brother Enoch answered from beside Jem. _But it can cause Mrs. Lightwood to become frail. She could lose too many nutrients in the body if she is not able to retain her meals or drink enough water._ Brother Enoch produced a parcel of herbs from his robe and placed it before Gabriel. _This is a treatment for her condition beyond our healing runes, but because of the Sleep rune we’ve placed on her, she should not begin this treatment until she wakes._

“And the child?” Gabriel croaked. “What of the child?”

_It is not certain what the outcome will be of the child,_ Brother Zachariah said. Despite the Silent Brothers’ usually flat tone, concern and empathy were clear in Jem’s words. _But now that we know Cecily’s condition, we are better prepared. The treatments will help her body stay strong even after our medicinal runes disappear._

Will leaned forward and held Cecily’s other hand. “Gabriel,” he said evenly. “I think you both should return to the Institute. Make the Institute your only home again. We have more resources here, and a Portal. Should we ever need to summon the Silent Brothers again, they can get to Cecy faster.”

Gabriel brushed his thumb against Cecily’s cheek. It was the most peaceful he had seen her in weeks, but Gabriel did not feel peace.

“I agree,” he answered quietly. “It is safest for her there.”

  
If Will had not known what to think of Gabriel Lightwood being his brother-in-law before, he did now.

There had been plenty of moments in which Will found Gabriel most irritating, and never would have voluntarily called him brother. Even when Cecily sustained injuries in battle, he expected to always find something quick to say about Gabriel’s presence to alleviate the tension in the room. And Cecily always had something far more terrible to say in return.

But now, as Cecily lay motionless between them, Will found it difficult to say anything bad about Gabriel. Gabriel had stayed by her side even when he couldn’t do anything to help. He stayed despite the ugly and painful sight of it all. And he was still here, refusing to leave her. It would have been easy to blame Gabriel for what happened, Will thought, but how could he have possibly predicted this outcome? If there was anything he and Gabriel would ever consistently agree upon, it was that they both loved Cecily.

And it meant a great deal to Will that among Gabriel’s first thoughts after taking Cecily into his arms were to send for him too, along with the Silent Brothers.

“Boys,” said a gentle voice behind Will. He and Gabriel turned to see Tessa standing with a clean nightgown and brush. “You both should clean up and eat. Adelaide has made sandwiches for you. You will be no good to Cecily in your condition.” She set the gown and brush gently on the seat beside Will. “Sophie and I will help her change so she is more comfortable.”

“I really don’t see how I could possibly eat after this,” Gabriel replied. “I’d rather she shout at me until Christmas than leave her now.”

Will suppressed his sudden urge to embrace Gabriel.

“I don’t recall giving you the option,” Tessa said, then sighed. “It will be no good to any of us to sit here and think the worst. We must do what we can to help, and that includes ensuring that the both of you are healthy enough to do what needs to be done to help Cecily.”

That appeared to work. Gabriel kissed Cecily’s hand and rose slowly from his seat as Will bent down and kissed his sister’s head.

Who would have thought, Will pondered as they exited the room, that one day Will Herondale would be _happy_ that his sister chose Gabriel Lightwood to give her heart to.

“Gabriel, wait—”

Gabriel stopped and whirled around at the sound of his name. He was slightly surprised to find Will approaching him so late at night—when they both definitely should have been asleep.

They had eaten their dinner in strained silence, pierced only by the occasional cry from Barbara or Eugenia, who had been fussing and refusing to sleep in their own bedrooms. Gabriel struggled to suppress the memories of the last few hours in his mind until he gave up and left the dining room in a hurry to clean himself up. It had done nothing, since he could not fall asleep without the warmth of Cecily beside him. Will had found him wandering the halls.

“Yes, Will?” Gabriel was not entirely in the mood to speak with anyone.

Will stood before him and seemed to hesitate. Then, he sucked in a deep breath. Gabriel prepared himself for insults when, instead, Will said, “Thank you.”

Gabriel stared. “For what?” He asked, dumbfounded.

“For loving her,” Will said, and grimaced. “I hardly thought I would have ever said those words, but I am. Thank you, Gabriel.”

Gabriel could not believe what he was hearing. Perhaps he really _was_ asleep and this was some strange combination of a dream and a nightmare. “You’re _thanking_ me for that?”

They stood awkwardly near the kitchen, staring at each other as if the other had suddenly grown another limb. The halls were silent and dark, save for the witchlights in each of their hands. Will coughed uncomfortably. “The thought of Cecily going through something like this without someone who really, truly loves her is not a thought I can bear. It seems evident that this condition would have happened no matter who she married, but at least she has you.” Will looked like he’d rather stick a poker in his eyes, but Gabriel was too stunned to interject. “You’re a lot of things Gabriel, but a terrible husband is not one of them.”

Gabriel opened his mouth, then closed it, and then opened it again. “I suppose ‘I am sorry’ would be an incorrect response?”

Will released a surprised bark of laughter before closing his mouth and glancing around quickly to see if he had woken anyone. When no one emerged to curse him, he shook his head with a smile. “Let us simply agree that no one else learns of this moment of complete lunacy on my part.”

Gabriel smiled for the first time in hours. “Only a moment?”  
  
  



	8. Dark Paradise

When Cecily awoke, she did not expect to wake to bright sunlight shining in through the open window. She squinted and groaned, rolling over to block the light when she found herself looking directly into deep green eyes.

“Cecy,” Gabriel said, gently. Her heart fluttered in her confusion. “How do you feel?”

“As if I’ve been trampled by a thousand carriages,” she mumbled. “How long have I been asleep?”

Gabriel moved beside her and helped her sit up. “Nearly a full day. Brother Enoch placed a Sleep rune on you to help you regain your strength.”

Cecily recalled the events of the prior evening; the pain, the fear—Gabriel’s voice. “Oh,” Cecily said suddenly, reaching to grip Gabriel’s arm. “ _Our baby_. Oh, please tell me—”

“The baby is all right,” Gabriel murmured gently, placing his hand on her bump. “You did give us all quite the serious fright, Cecy. I thought—I thought I was going to lose you both.” He was quiet as he gently caressed her. Cecily looked into his eyes and saw many emotions reflected in them—fear, exhaustion. But, above all of them, she saw love.

She gently trailed her fingers along his hand and bit her lip. “I’m worried,” she said quietly, avoiding his gaze. “It will be all my fault if our child is born sickly. I will have cursed our child to a life of—”

“Stop it,” Gabriel demanded. She looked up at him surprised. He was looking at her determined. “It will _not_ be your fault. There will never be anything about this that will be your fault. Whether this child is born sickly or not, we will love them just the same.”

Cecily’s eyes filled with tears. “But, Gabriel, the pain—I cannot live with myself if I give this child a life of illness and pain. Of suffering. What kind of mother inflicts suffering on her child?” Guilt filled Cecily’s body as she tightened her grip on her husband’s hand on her bump. A voice in her head told her she was simply fretting, but her heart squeezed with a fear she had never experienced before. “What if it doesn’t survive?”

Gabriel shook his head and turned, lifting a small bottle off the table nearby and turned back. “This,” he said gently, “is a treatment for your illness from the Silent Brothers. It will help you stay strong and therefore help our child.” He placed the bottle containing a pale lilac liquid in her hand, and she took it from him. Cecily looked between the bottle and her husband. He stood for a moment and poured her a glass of water before returning to her side. “Pour a bit of it in here,” he told her. She titled the bottle and watched the water turn the most subtle shade of purple.

“Is that all?” Cecily asked as he exchanged the bottle for the water. He nodded as he returned the bottle to the table.

“Yes, twice a day. There are enough bottles for the rest of your pregnancy.”

Cecily drank the glass quickly, her thirst becoming apparent as the cool liquid passed her throat. Gabriel remained standing, watching her carefully. Guilt pang in her heart again. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. His eyes widened slightly.

“There is nothing to apologize for, Cecy.”

She smiled sadly. “Perhaps. But I am still sorry.” She looked toward the door of the bedroom. “Is Will angry with me?” Gabriel laughed suddenly, shocked, then shook his head and laughed more. She frowned. “Why are you laughing?”

“I cannot believe that you think your brother would actually be angry with you for this,” he grinned, his shoulders still shaking with laugher, his face no longer bearing sadness. “You must still feel ill.”

Cecily glared at him before softening. Of course, she knew Will could not be angry with her. Why had she thought such a silly thing?

Gabriel brushed her hair out of her face and smiled. “He is simply worried for you, as I was. He is downstairs with Tessa, Gideon, and Sophie. I will fetch him for you.” He kissed her forehead. “And Cecy, as long as we, and I do mean _we_ , stay hopeful and healthy, and you take the treatment as told, our child will be perfect.”

She only watched from the bed as he gracefully left the room to inform Will she was awake, falling in love with him all over again.

Will had, in fact, not been angry with Cecily. All her worries had quickly dissipated when her brother’s thundering footsteps burst into her room and he shouted, happily and relieved, “ _Cariad_ , thank the Angel!” followed by several minutes of rushed Welsh and fretting.

It was also Will who helped her descend the stairs to the family room after he had fought against her leaving her bedrest. Once she had carefully changed into a simple day dress, they headed to where the rest of her family waited with large, relieved smiles. “Oh, Cecy, I am so glad to see you awake,” Sophie said. She held a sleeping Eugenia in her arms as Barbara played quietly beside her father’s chair. Gideon smiled at her as Gabriel moved aside on the sofa to make space for her beside him. She sat, waving Will away to Tessa.

“Thank you for your help, Sophie,” Cecily replied, and then turned to Tessa. “And yours, Tessa. I cannot tell you how grateful I was to awake in something clean.”

Tessa smiled and waved her hand. “What kind of sisters would we be if we did not help?” Sophie nodded in agreement.

“ _Chwaer fach annwyl_ ,” Will interrupted. “We wish to speak with you about something important. It is about you and Gabriel returning to live at the Institute—indefinitely.”

Cecily’s eyes widened and she looked to Gabriel, who appeared entirely unsurprised by this topic. They must have discussed it before, she realized. “This is because of last night,” she said.

Gabriel nodded and took her hand. “Yes, and I agree with Will. It will be safer for you and our child to stay at the Institute, where the Silent Brothers can arrive more quickly and there are more people about to help.” He looked to Will, who nodded as well. “Apparently Jessamine is thrilled at the prospect of a baby in the Institute.”

Cecily glanced between her family before landing on Sophie. “Sophie, you are not offended that we will be abandoning your kind hospitality?”

Sophie smiled gently and shook her head. “Not at all, Cecily. I understand it is what is best for you and your family.” She gazed down at Eugenia. “We must always do what is best for our children. If that is returning to the Institute indefinitely, then I see no reason why that would offend Gideon or myself. We are your family.”

Gideon nodded in agreement and leaned forward. “Of course, you are always welcome here. But as your brother and mine have said, Covent Garden is perhaps no longer the wise place to live.”

Cecily looked down at her belly, then at her hand intertwined with Gabriel’s. It had been some months now, nearly a year, since they last resided in the Institute. They had simply enjoyed spending their time with their young nieces. The only child in the Institute was Will. “Well then,” Cecily breathed, considering the health of her unborn baby over her squabbles with her brother. “I suppose we shall pack, then.” She looked at Will. “I do assume you will graciously allow me a room to _share_ with my _husband,_ now that I am with child, instead of placing me in my old bedroom like the other times we’ve returned to stay at the Institute.”

Tessa laughed as Will scowled. Gabriel chuckled beside her, obviously trying quite hard not to say anything. “If I must,” Will said stiffly. “But don’t act like I was unaware that you two shared the room anyway.”

Cecily’s eyes flashed at her brother, but Gideon cleared his throat loudly before the bickering began. “All right! I see that the decision has been made. Gabriel, I will help you prepare your things. You may borrow my carriage to help carry everything to the Institute.”

Cecily began to stand, to which everyone immediately protested. She stared at them, stunned, before arguing. “I am perfectly well enough to pack my own things.”

Gabriel feigned offense. “Allow my pregnant wife to pack our belongings to move residences only a day after she nearly died? I sincerely think not. You may berate me in the carriage later.”

_London Institute  
_ _March 1884  
  
_

As Gabriel prepared for his patrol, he glanced at Cecily behind him. She sat in bed reading, absently running her fingers along her protruding stomach. She was nearly six months pregnant now, and her bump had grown significantly. Her dark hair spilled over her shoulders, standing out against the pale white of her nightgown. An _iratze_ gleamed near her collarbone, to help with the sickness and pain. She hummed quietly as she read. Gabriel assumed she either was unaware of his gaze or silently enjoying the attention.

He smiled softly as he finished putting on his gear, feeling for his stele in his pocket. He felt more and more hesitant venturing out at night, secretly investigating with Will under the rouse of routine patrol, the closer the time came to the arrival of their child, but he knew he needed to help Will control the demons in London to protect his family. He had a new reason to fight, mandate or not.

Cecily gasped quietly and Gabriel whirled around. He relaxed when he saw the gentle smile on her face, calm and beautiful looking back at him. “The baby is moving,” she told him and gestured for him to come sit beside her. He grinned and swiftly moved to her side, shifting the books about demon attack patterns she had been studying. She could not patrol, but Cecily had insisted on still helping them find whatever it was lurking in the shadows.

He placed his hand on her bump and made a face when he felt the kicks against his hand. “It’s quite a strange feeling, isn’t it?” He asked her. “Feeling someone kick you from the inside? Because it feels strange to me just resting my hand here.”

Cecily nodded and leaned back against the massive pile of pillows on their bed. She had needed more and more to sleep comfortably lately. Gabriel hoped Will was not expecting company any time soon. All the spare bedrooms’ pillows were now in Cecily Lightwood’s possession. “Yes,” she breathed and closed her eyes. “It helps me keep going, knowing there is precious life at the end of this.”

Gabriel brushed her hair out of her face. “Only a few more weeks, _bach_ ,” he said. Cecily smiled and squeezed his hand, opening her eyes slightly.

“Go on, then,” she said. “Best not keep Will waiting long.”

He stood and handed the books back to her, hesitating a moment to memorize her face in that moment. As he turned and walked out the door of their bedroom, his mind screaming at him to say something romantic to her, _just in case_ , he heard Cecily call out again.

“And do tell my brother to stop slipping notes into my books about falsifying paternity records!”

Gabriel followed as Will led them toward to a dark street on the edges of Kensington. Months of investigating and patrols had finally led them to a helpful source in Soho, who told them of rumors that a warlock was working on something beyond the power of this world. Rumors of necromancy and dark magic. The word necromancy had sent a shiver down Gabriel’s spine.

The bickering continued, of course, between Gabriel and Will the longer they spent together living at the Institute. Gabriel had, at one point, considered tying Will to the bottom of a carriage in his sleep and sending it to northern Scotland. Cecily had convinced him it was not a terrible idea, but that Will would only return cold and with a vengeance, and that she preferred that her baby grow up with its father alive.

But Gabriel had to admit that he and Will worked well together when it came to Shadowhunter duties. They both shared a common goal beyond the fulfillment of their mandate: to make London safe for their shared family. It was an unspoken agreement to keep Cecily under the impression that their adventure this evening was a routine patrol and not an investigation into a lead. It did not mean, however, that Gabriel did not feel guilty about it.

“Here it is,” Will said, stopping in front of a poorly-cared-for Victorian home. “Hypatia wasn’t joking when she said we’d know it when we saw it.”

Gabriel stared up into the dark home as he jumped down from the carriage. “This home does seem to scream black magic and necromancy, don’t you think?” He kicked at a loose floorboard along the front of the house. “I doubt anyone actually _lives_ here.”

Will pulled out his witchlight and seraph blade, nodding to Gabriel to follow as he pushed the unlocked door open. The door creaked as it swung. The house was dark and empty, the only furniture being a table in the center of the main room where they entered. As they creeped through the room, Gabriel spotted several pages of hastily scribbled entries and empty apothecary bottles. “Seems we’re on the right track,” he whispered, mostly to himself.

Will began climbing the stairs as Gabriel remained on the main level, clearing every room. They were just as empty, the only evidence that anyone had ever lived there being a faded shadow of an old bed in against one of the walls. Gabriel swore he saw the vague outline of a human shadow, but blinked and it was gone. He returned to the main area, collecting the scribbles into his bag in one hand, his knife gripped tightly in the other.

Suddenly Gabriel heard loud shouting from upstairs, followed by several thuds before Will came crashing down before Gabriel. As the dust settled, Gabriel gazed upward at the large hole in the ceiling, then down at Will, who was sitting up and shaking the dust out of his hair, swearing. “How did you manage that?” Gabriel asked calmly, watching Will with vague amusement.

Before Will could answer with a deadly glare, the ground began to shake. Dark cloud rose from the edges of the walls, creeping toward the two men in the center of the room. Gabriel’s amusement quickly dissipated as he hauled Will up to his feet and unsheathed his weapons.

The darkness surrounded them quickly. Gabriel was silently thankful that they had remembered to apply their runes before venturing into Kensington. The seraph blade in his grip blazed brightly as he lunged forward, cutting down the creature before him.

Behind him, Will struggled with a particularly large Kora demon. When Gabriel killed the demon before him, he turned to help Will, only to be pulled down to the ground by another demon rising from the floor. He crashed to the ground, his face colliding with the splintered wood. He could feel the blood dripping from his nose. Gabriel yelled angrily and slashed at the demon’s grip on his leg. The demon whirled, aiming it’s razorlike claws toward him. Gabriel jumped quickly, avoiding the hit. Will slammed into a wall across the room from him, groaning. The Kora roared.

The demon in front of Gabriel snarled and charged him. As he raised his arm to strike, the demon spun quickly and its tail pierced Gabriel’s torso.

The pain was excruciating. Gabriel fell to his knees, dragging a runed blade deep through the demon’s chest as he went down. The demon screeched and crumbled to dust. Warm blood seeped through his gear as he gasped painfully. He attempted to drag himself closer to the wall, closer to his dropped witchlight; his vision blurred, and he collapsed, rolling onto his back with his hands pressed against the wound. The blood began pooling near him.

Gabriel fumbled for his stele but realized with a sudden dread that he had dropped it during the battle. He cursed loudly and pressed his hand against his side. Another creature howled nearby as it disappeared back to the realm it came from. All was silent for a moment.

As Gabriel gasped for air, Will appeared beside him. He was dirty, with several scratches across his face and neck. Gabriel was unsure whether they were from the demons or his trip through the floors, but Will’s face was hard as he reached for his stele. “Oh no you don’t,” Will said to him as he began drawing _iratzes_ on Gabriel. “You will not be making my sister a widow today.”

_Cecily_. Her face filled Gabriel’s thoughts as he lay on the ground. Her smile, her laugh. He saw her growing bump, where she carried their child. Get up, he thought, get up for them.

He tried to lift his hand to Will, but he could not muster enough strength. The pain still stabbed in his side, blood on both their gear and hands. “I have no intention of making Cecy a widow at the hands of a demon,” Gabriel choked. More blood seeped. “But I cannot say that she will not attempt to murder me herself when she sees this.”

Will frowned and swore as the _iratzes_ he drew continued to fade quickly. “As lovely as that sounds, she will likely wish to murder me as well. Let’s get you to back to the Institute before you bleed out here and condemn us both.” Will kneeled and lifted Gabriel off the ground, half-carrying and half-dragging him out the house and into the carriage. Will pressed his coat into Gabriel’s side then jumped out and began driving the carriage hastily back to the Institute.

Gabriel gripped the coat and tried to apply as much pressure to the bleeding wound as he could. His vision continued to blur, but he forced himself to stay awake. He recalled the way he had felt when he thought Cecily was dying in his arms months before. He did not want her to experience the same fear he had. He did not want to leave her a widowed mother of a child he would never meet. Gabriel clenched his jaw and applied more pressure. “Not today,” he said aloud. “Not today.”  
  
  



	9. Glory and Gore

Gabriel did not remember the rest of the carriage ride. He only realized time had passed at all when the door flew open and Will and Cyril appeared, hauling him out and dragging him through the doors of the Institute. Tessa was there, carrying several large cloths and a bucket. As they crossed the threshold, she began pressing one of the cloths into his wound. Gabriel bit his tongue to prevent him from swearing. He was sweating and he knew he had lost quite a bit of blood.

Despite the direness of the situation, they all attempted to stay as quiet as possible. Cecily was upstairs, he knew, likely asleep. They dared not wake her only to see her husband dripping blood with a gaping wound in his body. It could not be good for the baby.

With a grunt, Will and Cyril dropped Gabriel onto one of the beds in the infirmary. Tessa immediately shooed them away from the bed, dropping down and pushing more cloths into the water and pressing against his skin. “I’ve sent for the Silent Brothers,” Tessa told them. “They ought to be here soon.”

Will nodded, shedding his gear jacket that was now covered in Gabriel’s blood. “I’ve tried _iratzes_ , but they’re fading quickly. There is no demon poison.” Will looked grim. “That could mean it’s a mortal wound, Gabriel.”

Tessa’s face remained steady, but her eyes revealed her worry and apprehension. Will approached, ignoring Tessa’s repeated insistence that he give Gabriel space, and drew another _amisso_ rune where the last one faded. Gabriel vaguely remembered Will drawing one while he lay on the floor of that wretched house after he cursed the _iratzes_. “To slow the bleeding,” Will said to his wife, dropping Gabriel’s arm.

Gabriel shook his head. “I told you before,” he breathed painfully. “I refuse to die today.”

“You _what_?”

Their heads snapped toward the doorway, where a figure stood in the dim light. Gabriel’s breath hitched, and it was not from the pain. Cecily stood in her nightgown and robe, clutching a witchlight in one hand and covering her mouth with the other. Her eyes were wide as she took in the sight.

“Cecy,” Will started toward her. She began to shake her head vigorously, stepping away from him. Will stopped, but he kept his hands out as if to prepare himself for any sudden movements.

“No.” She said. “This cannot be happening.”

“Cecy,” Gabriel croaked. She stared at him, her hand shaking. He felt fear, though not for himself. He feared for her. Cecily Lightwood did not enjoy showing vulnerability openly, nor had she ever been particularly fragile. But, in this moment, she seemed one push away from falling apart.

“Gabriel—” She whispered.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but Brother Enoch entered the room, gently moving Cecily aside as he entered. He blocked Gabriel’s view of her, but as Enoch began working on his body, he caught a short glimpse.

Will was hugging her to him, cradling her head to his chest. One of her hands held her stomach as she continued to stare at the movement of people around the bed. Her other was clenched in a fist above her heart, right above her marriage rune, as if she could feel pain from it like a _parabatai_ rune. Gabriel locked eyes with her. _I will not die_ , Gabriel thought as he watched her. _Do you understand me, Cecy?_ I _will not die._

_  
_ “Cecy—Cecy please,” Will pleaded. Cecily could not move. If she moved, she would break. “We need to let them work.”

Will once again tried pulling her through the doorway. This time, Cecily let out a low cry, reaching to ball her brother’s shirt in her fist. She felt her body give, sliding toward the ground, only to be lifted and swiftly removed from the room. It was then, at the sight of the infirmary doors closing, and her Gabriel’s face disappearing behind them, that Cecily screamed.

_  
You must calm yourself, Gabriel Lightwood,_ Brother Enoch told him. _The faster your heart beats, the faster you bleed._

But he could not calm himself, not after hearing Cecily’s scream. It was a sound he had never heard before and never wanted to hear again. “I’m trying,” he forced through his teeth.

Tessa remained in the room, though why she had not been forced out, Gabriel did not know. She was neither his sister nor his wife; though, now, he wondered if sister-in-law counted in these matters. “Tessa—Tessa you have to go to Cecily.”

Tessa gave him a look of complete exasperation. “Gabriel, you are bleeding out and my hands are covered in your blood. Do you think Cecily wants to see that?” He groaned in pain as Brother Enoch continued working. Tessa pressed a wet cloth to his forehead. “The best person to be with Cecily right now is Will. She needs her brother.”

“Will is also covered in my blood,” Gabriel winced. “Has anyone told _my_ brother?”

“Bridget is on her way to Covent Garden as we speak.”

Gabriel groaned again, in pain and in dreadful anticipation.

_He will need a_ _sanglier_ , Brother Enoch said before wiping the skin beside Gabriel’s wound. He sucked in a breath. The stele burned.

“Aren’t those dangerous?” Tessa asked quickly.

_Not more than a stab wound,_ was all Brother Enoch had to say about it. _Mrs. Herondale, please, I think it is time to reserve the bedside for immediate members of Mr. Lightwood’s family._

Gabriel’s eyes darted to Tessa. “The baby,” he gasped. She pressed her lips in a hard line. “Don’t let Cecily in here unless the news is good.”

Tessa’s face did not change. She left the room without another word.

“I need to see him. You have to let me see Gabriel.”

Will and Tessa glanced at each other, faces ridden with worry and exhaustion. Will rubbed his face, which had finally been cleaned of the dirt, dust, and blood that covered him. He had not changed, though he long abandoned the blood-soaked gear jacket. The sight of it would have only sent his sister into more hysterics; even more than she had been when Will told her the truth of their whereabouts that evening. He could not lie to her now; not with a child on the way, not if Gabriel would die because of it.

“Cecily, you know you cannot see him now,” Will said, not without pain in his voice. Her scream replayed in his mind over and over again, as did the look of complete and utter betrayal she had given him while he explained the truth. While he stayed by her side, he doubted if his sister would ever forgive him for this. She had barely forgiven him for leaving her all those years ago.

Tessa sat beside Cecily, gently holding her head against her shoulder and brushing her hair. Will kneeled in front of them both. Gideon, half-dressed in gear and sleepwear, occasionally emerged from the infirmary to update them on Gabriel’s condition, only to have Cecily demand to see him.

“I am his wife,” Cecily snapped. “You cannot prevent me from seeing my husband.”

“You know he does not want you to see him like that,” Gideon told her gently, squatting next to Will. “Not in your—condition.”

“I am pregnant,” Cecily said angrily. “It is not a condition that warrants being isolated from my husband. It is not the Silent Brothers who prevent me from seeing Gabriel, it is _you_.”

Will grimaced and looked at Gideon. It was not the first time that Cecily had argued with them about this. But after she had collapsed in the family room after Will had brought her there, pale and crying, they had both agreed that the risk of her experiencing complications from shock and grief was too great.

“Cecily, you must sleep,” Tessa told her. “You will be able to see him in the morning.”

“As a widow?” Cecily’s voice was ice, but her face was terrified. Will’s heart twisted painfully. No, it was not likely she would forgive him; not any time soon.

“You will not be a widow,” Gideon answered immediately. “Gabriel is doing well. The Silent Brothers have hope.”

“But they cannot tell me for certain that he will live,” Cecily answered. “That I will not be a widow and that our child will not be fatherless. They will not tell me that, for they know it would be a lie to tell me such things with certainty.”

Gideon remained silent. He knew now, as well as the rest of them, that arguing with Cecily was pointless. Will watched as Cecily’s eyes watered, but no tears fell. “Cecy—"

“No.” Cecily’s gaze moved to him from their absent stare. Her eyes were dark with grief, or anger. Will assumed both. “I do not want to hear anything more from you. You lied to me. You lied, and now my husband is dying.”

Will closed his mouth. The Institute was silent, then, with only the sound of their breathing. He watched with sadness and guilt as Cecily cradled her belly. Tessa had been beyond angry with him, too, as he explained his and Gabriel’s actions. She said nothing, but he knew her too well. Her face bore no emotion, her shoulders rigid. She was angry, but she would not show it in front of Cecily, for her sake. It only made Will feel more guilty.

“If you and Gabriel hadn’t lied about where you were going, you would have had others waiting to assist you. Instead, you told me it was a routine patrol. You may not have thought about what the trip meant for you or him, but you should have thought how it would have affected the people around you.” Cecily’s voice was thick with emotion, and Will could do nothing but watch her. “You sit here and tell me to be calm and believe that everything will be all right. But you were not there when I woke up the morning Ella died to learn that I had lost both my siblings in a matter of hours. I was alone for years, wondering what my life would be like without my siblings. Then I come here, and I think that perhaps, yes, everything _will_ be all right. The life of Nephilim is dangerous, I know. But I thought you would have had more sense than to walk into a house like that with no one aware of your location. More sense than to lie to your sister and your wife.”

Will stared, unsure how to respond. Tessa glared at Will and looked down at Cecily. “They couldn’t have known what would happen. You are right to feel however it is you wish to feel, but they could not have imagined this.”

“No,” Cecily said. “But they should have prepared for it.” She stood, pushing Tessa’s hand away and pointedly avoiding Will’s gaze. He stood quickly, reaching for her hand, but she pulled it away. “Not now, William. I am tired.”

Helpless, Will watched his sister walk away, with Gabriel’s dried blood from Will’s clothes stained on her white nightgown.

  
Gabriel did not die—though he prepared himself to be murdered anyway.

It was well beyond morning now, and his wound had closed, though it was still an ugly sight and needed at least another couple of days to fully heal. It had not been a mortal wound, as they feared, but it was serious enough that he needed the _amisso_ runes to stop the bleeding. A blood replacement rune glistened on his stomach near the injury. Gabriel made a mental note to apologize to Gideon for having to go through having _sangliers_ placed. He had heard Gideon’s voice as he slept and knew that he’d arrived at some point during the night, but Gabriel woke alone.

A fresh shirt and pair of trousers lay neatly folded on the seat beside his bed. He washed his face and hair with the remaining water in the pitcher, and changed quickly, glad to be free of his blood-hardened gear. He could hear voices down the hall, though he could not hear what they were saying. When he stood to leave, the room spun for a moment. Gabriel grabbed a hold of the bedframe to steady himself.

“Oh, good, you’re up.” Gideon strolled into the room and tossed an object at Gabriel. He caught it, surprised, and saw that it was his stele. Will entered behind Gideon and leaned against the wall. “We went back to get that. You’re welcome.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Gideon. “Thank you, I suppose. I feel much better, so kind of you to ask.”

Gideon stared at Gabriel for a long moment and Gabriel suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Will remained motionless against the wall. “Well, I’ll admit, Gabriel, when I was summoned at nearly two in the morning to be told that my brother was bleeding out in the Institute infirmary, I used up all the tears I had. What you see now is the result of hours of bandages, sleeplessness, and reassuring my pregnant sister-in-law she was not going to be a widow.”

Gabriel’s heart hurt. He looked at Will, who appeared absolutely exhausted. He had changed out of his gear. “Where is she?” Gabriel asked.

“In the library,” Will said emotionlessly. “She is not happy.”

Gabriel squeezed his eyes shut and sighed inwardly. “But is she all right?” He remembered the look on her face as she stood in the doorway. She’d been pale. “Taken her treatment? Eaten?”

Gideon gave Gabriel a look, though of what, Gabriel couldn’t decide. “Yes. I imagine she did not get much sleep, however.”

Gabriel finished buttoning his shirt and cuffs and sat on the edge of the bed. At least she had taken her treatment, he thought in a weak attempt to make himself feel better. With a deep sigh, and his face now in his hands, he asked, “What did you learn? When you went back?”

“Nothing of much physical value,” Will answered. He _sounded_ exhausted. “But there was evidence of some kind of ritual. The place was drenched in dark magic.”

“The pages you found,” Gideon continued, opening the bag Gabriel had filled. “They’re instructions for summoning ancient demons. Demons no one has ever seen on earth before. At least, not since Jonathan Shadowhunter.”

Gabriel glanced up between his fingers, saw they were being completely serious, then slowly dropped his hands. “Someone is trying to summon something worse than the Greater Demons?” His head buzzed.

“They failed,” Will replied, staring at Gabriel blankly. “But yes.”

“Do you think they will attempt it again?” Gabriel’s thoughts raced with the image of his child growing up with such a threat. It made him angry—and terrified.

Will sighed. “Likely yes. But based on the debris and remains of the house, it looks like it may be some time.”

“And yet, I do not feel reassured,” Gabriel answered. He began twisting the Lightwood ring on his finger. “About the patrols—”

Will waved his hand, cutting Gabriel off. “You’re off patrol. For the time being. Consider it a paternity leave of sorts. You’ll be doing research with Cecily, provided she does not kill you first. Sophie will be returning to her patrol duties.”

Gabriel nodded, accepting the decision. Gideon’s face was contorted in both pride and wariness. The brothers matched gazes with Will, and Gabriel knew they were on the same page. _For our families._ He rose from the bed and made his way toward the infirmary doors.

“And where are you going?” Gideon asked. Gabriel did not look back.

“I told you. I did not intend to die at the hands of a demon. But now I must face death at the hands of my wife.”

Cecily sat beside the fire with her legs tucked beneath her. A book lay open on her large bump, but she found herself only skimming the pages mindlessly. An empty glass sat along the edge of the stone; Tessa had brought her treatment down from her bedroom at some point in the morning.

She vaguely remembered the moments after Will had pulled her out of the infirmary. She supposed she had cried, but her face was bare of any tears now. She woke with her throat feeling raw, so she also supposed she had screamed, or yelled. Only flashes of blood crossed her mind now. _Gabriel’s blood_.

Cecily had always known the life of Nephilim was dangerous. It was why she chose it. The thrill of battle after a lifetime of isolation. She had found her calling, her brother—she had found her husband. The man who came back from what should have been a routine patrol with a horrifying stab wound, bleeding profusely. She hadn’t known what to do then, when she saw him.

Looking back, Cecily considered that she ought to have tried to run to him, like he had to her when she was the one laying in the infirmary bed. But her legs felt like heavy sand, holding her in place. The room was silent except for the loud beating of her heart in her ears. That, and the sound of his weak voice. _Cecy._

Cecily sat up in the armchair, shifting awkwardly to pull her legs out from beneath her, as she had started to lose feeling in them. In the midst of her shifting, the library doors opened. She swore. “I told you to leave me alone, Will. I am not speaking to you.”

“Then I suppose I should be glad I am not Will, though I have been glad of that for years.”

Cecily froze. She had imagined it before—hearing his voice speaking to her like nothing was wrong. She remembered the last time she saw him before the infirmary, when they sat together in quiet intimacy, cradling their unborn child and murmuring about the strange feeling. It seemed like a distant dream now.

“Cecy.” His voice was closer now. She turned her head, her breath hitching as she took in the sight of him. Gabriel stood a few paces away, smiling softly--nervously. He looked well; his hair was clean, and he had changed from the torn gear into black slacks and shirtsleeves. Cecily could see the bandage wrapped around his torso underneath the fabric. It was obvious a waistcoat would have obstructed access to the bandage.

She continued to look at him blankly as she finished readjusting her leg. He walked closer, slowly, as if he could tell that she was angry. And she was. She was angry at him, at Will, for venturing into a known necromantic house without anyone knowing. She was angry at them for thinking they could handle something like that without running into demons. And she was angry at him for almost dying. “You’re up.”

He forced an odd smile. “Well, don’t sound so disappointed. I may think you don’t like me.”

Cecily knew she ought to have felt guilty for being angry at a man for nearly dying, but she could not help what she felt now. Gabriel kneeled in front of her and reached for her hand. She let him take it but said nothing. She did not know what she would say.

“You _are_ angry,” he said quietly. His eyes were startingly green this morning, Cecily thought despite everything. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. “I am sorry, Cecily.”

“One should not apologize for almost dying.”

Gabriel sighed. Cecily felt her chest tighten as the memories of the night flooded back once more. “No, but one must apologize for lying to his wife, and frightening her.”

Cecily stared at him evenly. She imagined all the ways she would scream at him when she finally saw him. All the ways she would be angry with him. Her heart could not take much more fear or worry. But, seeing him now, she only wanted to lay in his arms. Tears formed in her eyes. “You are not allowed to leave me. Ever.”

Gabriel reached up and cupped her cheek, brushing away the tear that had begun to fall. “I do not intend to ever do such a thing.” His touch was like fire on her skin, waking her from the nightmare she’d been walking in.

“I am still angry with you,” she told him. “And at Will.”

Gabriel nodded and dropped his hand, to her subtle disappointment. “I know. We deserve it. But I swear on the Angel, Cecily, that I love you more than anything else in this world.” He lifted himself off the floor, placing his hands on the sides of her armchair and leaned in close. She could feel his breath on her lips. His green eyes were wide and bright. “You and our child. You must know that.”

“Do I?” She knew her words were cruel, but it was too late. “You venture into that house only a short time after you felt our child move, knowing what that house was, potentially riddled with the most dangerous of demons. What am I supposed to think?”

Gabriel backed away and stared at her, an annoyed expression growing on his face. “We are Shadowhunters, Cecily. It is our mandate.”

“Is it your mandate to be reckless?” She argued. She stood up quickly, forcing herself to swallow the wave of nausea that followed. “Our mandate is to rid the world of demons; that I understand. What I don’t understand is why you went in there alone.” She looked up to match his hard gaze. “I could have lost my husband and my brother in one night and never known where they were. Don’t you see that? It will have been like losing Will and Ella all over again, only now I would have no one left to give my heart to but our child. A child who could have grown up fatherless, and without one of its uncles. And yet, still, no one came to fetch me as you lay bleeding. I had to follow the hushed voices and trail of blood to find you after I did not feel you in bed next to me soon enough after I heard the Institute doors open.” Gabriel inhaled deeply. Cecily did not lower her head.

“I truly did not think the night would end the way it did,” he replied sharply. Cecily laughed humorlessly.

“Yes, that is what Tessa said. But after everything we’ve ever been through, after training your whole life as a Shadowhunter, you still made the choice to go in without help. It was idiotic, and reckless.” Emotion rose through her chest and into her throat. “I do not like to feel powerless, Gabriel. And seeing you like that—I could not bear it. Of all the stupid things—” She stopped, the room suddenly spinning. She felt Gabriel’s hands on her instantly, lowering her back down into the armchair. Her vision cleared after a moment, and she could not take back her words now.

Gabriel watched her carefully. For a long moment they only looked at each other, angry and upset. Both their chests heaved as they attempted to calm themselves before their argument transformed into an ugly fight. Cecily’s gaze dropped to Gabriel’s collar; his wedding rune peeked through the fabric where the top button had been left undone. She lifted her eyes back to his.

Quickly, and as if it was the last thing he would ever do, he stepped forward, cupped his hands behind her neck, and kissed her deeply.

She melted into his arms, reaching up to grip his shirt in her hands. His lips were chapped from his night near-death, but she didn’t care. She’d been hoping to have the chance to kiss him again. All night she lay awake, nightmares filling any sliver of sleep that managed to reach her through the hours. She had felt cold, her source of warm comfort beyond her reach. But now, as his lips moved against hers, the warmth returned, creeping slowly through her veins.

He pulled back hesitantly and pressed his forehead to hers. She opened her eyes and stared into his. “Gabriel—”

“I love you,” he interrupted. “I want to make this world safer for our child, and in the process, I took the risk of leaving them without a father, the one thing I swore I’d never do. And for that, I am sorry, Cecily. But I will not apologize for fulfilling my mandate as a Shadowhunter. And I will not apologize for seeking to make our world safer for our family.”

“I know,” she whispered. She continued to grip his shirt in her hands, which shook slightly from her moment of dizziness. “I’m sorry for accusing you of such horrible things. I was so angry, and scared—"

Gabriel smiled softly, distracting her from her train of thought. “I cannot blame you for being angry. I would be, too, if our roles were reversed.” He pressed a firm kiss on her forehead. “But we are married, Cecily. Marriage is a promise. I will not break my promise to you.”

Cecily smiled softly for the first time since their moment as a family the prior evening. “I love you, Gabriel Lightwood. Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”

“I will try my best.” And he kissed her again.


	10. Blood of the Covenant

_~~To: Tatiana Blackthorn  
~~ _ _~~Blackthorn Manor  
~~ _ _~~From: Gabriel Lightwood~~ _

__ _~~Tati,~~ _

__ _~~I know you must think me the world’s worst brother, for reasons I cannot begin to list here for fear that I would use up the Institute’s ink supply. I know not of all the grievances you hold against me, but you are my sister, and I love you, Tati.~~ _

__ _~~As per my prior letters that I hope you’ve received, Cecily is expecting our first child soon. I wish for my son or daughter to know their aunt. I ask you now, again, to please consider returning to London. Gideon and I will help you. And we wish to know our nephew.~~ _

__ _~~We know young Jesse is sickly. Please let us help you care for him, Tatiana. He is our blood, just as he is yours.~~ _

Gabriel crumbled the paper in his hands and threw it against the wall with a frustrated grunt. It was not the first time he had attempted to reach out to Tatiana; but after his last four letters returned unread, Gabriel was beginning to think he simply wasting his time.

“I am sorry,” Cecily called to him from her seat against the window in the library. “Tatiana is rather good at remaining angry.” He sighed and rubbed his face. He’d seen enough of this forsaken library, having spent the last month pouring over nearly every book the Institute had in its possession. They’d found nearly nothing of value. To make matters worse, there had been no unusual demon activity since the night he and Will were attacked. Patrols returned with only regular activity to report. Gabriel should have been relieved.

“It’s all right, Cecy,” he answered with a resigned breath. “I suppose it is time to accept that Tatiana will never forgive me. We haven’t even seen her since our wedding. I was surprised she even attended at all.”

Cecily carefully pulled herself into an upright position with a grunt. Gabriel couldn’t help but watch her through his fingers, both in awe and concern. He knew she still felt awful, though she was no longer near death as she used to be. She woke every morning with a fierce determination to do whatever she could to assist her brother in running the Institute. She never ceased to amaze Gabriel. “Come here,” she told him.

He stood and strode over to her. She took his hand and rested it on her large belly, leaning close to his face. “Focus on what you can control, _fy nghariad_.” He smiled. Cecily, his whole heart, always knew how to make him see reason.

“I love you,” he said to her. He felt a thump against his hand and laughed. “I love you, too, little one.” Cecily smiled brightly at him and rested her head against his shoulder.

Gabriel would never tire of moments like these.

“Gabriel, I will have your head if you are not in the carriage in the next minute,” Gideon called from the Institute doors. “The Silent Brothers will not be happy if we are late to the Silent City.”

Gabriel grumbled as he shrugged on his coat. Cecily stood beside him, holding his hat and stifling her laughter. “I cannot imagine why they needed both of us in the Silent City,” Gabriel complained. “That place gives me the morbs.”

Cecily handed him his hat and smiled. “Simply think of it as an adventure,” she suggested. “A daring journey into the depths of the Silent City on a quest to return to your family.”

Gabriel smiled and shook his head. “Pregnancy has made you quite cheeky,” he mused. “Are you sure you’re feeling all right? I can ask Gideon to go without me. Surely the Brothers would understand a man remaining by his wife’s side.”

“I am not a doll,” Cecily replied. “Besides, Sophie and Tessa are still here. I’m in good company.” She slipped her arm through his and laced their fingers together, walking toward Gideon and pulling Gabriel along. “Give Jem my best.”

“We will,” Gideon answered, yanking Gabriel through the doors away from her. Gabriel shooed him off, scowling. They stepped down onto the steps, only to stop in their tracks, staring at the person standing beside a dark carriage on the Institute grounds.

Tatiana gazed up at them from underneath her large brimmed hat. Her face bore no expression, though her body was rigid. Gabriel felt stupefied, so he was grateful when Gideon spoke. “Tatiana?” He sounded in as much disbelief as Gabriel felt. “What—Why are you here?”

“Am I not Nephilim?” Tatiana answered blankly. “Last I remember, the Institute is not private property.” Her eyes shifted to Cecily, who stood behind Gabriel in the doorway. Cecily’s eyes were wide, her hands rested on her belly. “Hmm,” Tatiana remarked. “I see pregnancy has not been pleasant for you.”

“Tatiana,” Gabriel snapped. “That’s enough. Why _are_ you here? I’ve sent you dozens of letters. You made it quite clear you do not want to see us.”

“I am here,” she answered, annoyed, “because of your insipid letters. You wanted to see me, so here I am. Do not waste my time.”

Gideon descended another step slowly. “Jesse—”

Tatiana’s eyes flashed. “Jesse is none of your concern. I did not come here to discuss my son, whom you have left fatherless, might I remind you. I am here to appease your ridiculous attempts to reconcile with me. As far as I am concerned, we are only people who share blood, and that is all. I have no brothers. Not anymore.”

“You cannot possibly mean that,” Cecily said sternly. “Your brothers care for you. Why must you reject all their efforts to help you?”

“They do not wish to help me for my sake. It is to ease their own guilty conscious. I will not be your tool for self-redemption. I will never forget what you’ve done to me.”

Gabriel felt his face heat. “Be reasonable, Tatiana!”

“ _Reasonable?_ ” Tatiana hissed. “Be reasonable? Let me ask you, then, Gabriel. If it had been your wife who was torn apart by a massive demon worm who used to be our father, and I had been the one who watch him turn into that worm and done nothing about it sooner, would you have forgiven me?”

Gabriel’s ears roared.

“Hmph. I thought not.”

Gabriel did not know what to expect if he had the chance to see Tatiana again before the arrival of his child. He supposed, now, that he should not have expected her to be hospitable. He reconsidered wanting his child to know her. As much as he did not want to admit it, Tatiana was not family that would have cared for his baby. Not like Gideon or Will, who cared deeply for their families. Tatiana would have been just fine if he or Gideon died.

Tatiana returned her gaze to Cecily. “Treasure your time, Mrs. Lightwood. For the time will go by quickly, and you will face the consequences of birthing a sickly child who also carries the tainted name of Lightwood.”

“TATIANA!” Gideon roared. Gabriel could only see red; the only thing keeping him from storming down the steps and committing sororicide was Gideon’s strong grip on his arm. “I think it is time for you to leave.”

She said nothing. She only turned swiftly, stepped into her carriage, and shut the door with a loud slam, rolling off down the path.

Gabriel whirled around to look at Cecily, who had paled. Her skin carried the faintest shade of green as she stumbled back into the Institute. “Cecy!” Gabriel cried, rushing to her. “Don’t listen to a blasted thing Tatiana says. She is bitter and cruel.”

Cecily forced a weak smile. “I do not credit anything she says, Gabriel. Go—you are late to the Silent City. I must—I must lie down, now.”

Gabriel watched, in rage and despair, as Cecily slowly climbed the steps up to their bedroom.

“She will be all right,” Gideon said from Gabriel’s shoulder. “And Tatiana only said those things to anger you. Do not give her the satisfaction.”

“She knew exactly what to say to anger me, and to hurt Cecily,” Gabriel said, his jaw clenched tight. “She knew Cecily was ill. To make her feel like it is her fault if the child is born sickly is—is—” Gabriel was too angry to think clearly.

Gideon sighed. “Come along, Gabriel. The sooner we conduct our business in the Silent City, the sooner we can return. Cyril!” The stableman appeared beside the steps. “Please find Sophie and tell her to check on Cecily, please.” Cyril nodded and rushed off.

Gabriel went with Gideon, against his conscious. Any wish he had to reconnect with Tatiana was gone now; gone in an instant like a flame blown out.

“She did not!” Sophie gasped. “The nerve of her!”

Cecily nodded, holding the cup of tea Sophie brought her as if it were the only thing keeping her from spiraling into her own thoughts. “She did. I knew Tatiana was a bitter woman, but to be so cruel—” Cecily frowned. “Gabriel was so upset.”

Tessa leaned forward. “You have reason to be upset, as well, Cecily. Do not dismiss your own feelings.”

“I am not,” Cecily answered. “I am angry, too. How dare she act as if she were the world’s expert on motherhood, denying her son the opportunity to know his uncles and cousins. It’s dreadful.”

Cecily could not stop thinking about what Tatiana said. It was as if Tatiana had been in her thoughts the last seven months, weaving her way through Cecily’s worries: would her child be sickly? In pain? She dared not think of the possibility that her child would not be born alive at all. The kicks she felt within her stomach eased her of that last worry, at least, even if it did cause her to feel like vomiting up everything in her body.

“Is the tea helping?” Sophie asked. “You look better.”

“Yes, thank you Sophie. I think I would just like to rest now. I feel exhausted.”

Tessa and Sophie smiled slightly and stood. “Get some sleep, Cecy. We’ll wake you for dinner.”

Their voices drifted. Cecily ventured deeper down the rabbit hole, reaching for sleep.

“Cecy.”

A voice called her from her restless slumber. Her back ached terribly, and with every movement she could feel the contents of her stomach swirl. Her brief dreams had not been relaxing either; glimpses of blood, and sickly children, plagued them. She blinked her eyes, squinting to see who had spoken to her.

Her brother stood in the doorway, still in his coat and hat. He was back from Idris, she realized. She felt awkward. Her discussions with Will over the last month were tense, at best. She greatly regretted saying so many unkind things to him when he was just trying to protect her; like he always tried to do, no matter how many times she reminded him she was capable of taking care of herself. He hadn’t tried to be familiar with her at all. It made Cecily ache more.

“Will, has something happened?”

He ventured into the room and stood stiffly beside her bed. “I heard about Tatiana’s visit today. I am sorry she said those things to you. She is not of sound mind, I’m convinced.”

Cecily sighed and reached for his head. “I’m all right. I only felt a bit faint. Nothing out of the ordinary, for me.”

Will frowned but closed his fingers around hers. “You are pale.”

“As I said—nothing out of the ordinary.”

Will watched her carefully. Cecily sighed and sat up, patting the space beside her. He sat quietly. Cecily leaned into his side, surprising him, judging from his tense muscles. After a moment he relaxed and wrapped his arm around her. Cecily remembered the nights he would sit with her as a child, warding off the bad dreams so she could sleep. He’d always been there for her, until he wasn’t. But she could not be angry with him for that now. Nor could she continue to treat him coldly for his actions the previous month; she had nearly entirely forgiven Gabriel. It was time to forgive Will, too.

“Do you remember when I told you I was expecting?” She asked him quietly.

“Yes.”

“You told me I would be an excellent mother. Why? All I’ve done is be ill and irritable toward you and the others.”

Will squeezed her before he answered. “I cannot speak for the others, but you are my sister. You have always been irritating.” Cecily smacked his arm, eliciting a laugh from him. “But I said you will be an excellent mother, and I meant it then just as I do now. You are stubborn, Cecily, and protective of those you love. No matter how you try to present yourself, you have a big heart. These qualities are not so mutually exclusive.”

“I would like to be like Mam,” Cecily said. “She always told us she loved us. Made us feel it, too. And yet, when she was cross, she was fearsome.”

Will shook with soft laughter. “Yes, I do remember that. How can I forget learning every swear word in the Welsh language because of her when I broke my arm jumping from the roof of our house?”

Cecily smiled. She remembered that day, too. She was only six at the time, but it was one of her fondest family memories.

“I think you would make Mam proud,” Will continued. “Model your motherly habits after her, if you wish. But Cecy, you need only be yourself to be perfect.”

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She really could not wait until her baby arrived and she would stop crying so easily again. It did not help her maintain her fearsome persona. “I am happy you are here, Will. Happy that my child will know at least one other Herondale.”

“Mam and Dad will meet your baby, Cecy,” Will said softly. “We’ve broken the Law before. We will do it again, so they can meet their first grandchild.”

“Do you think you will have any, Will?” Cecily asked. “Children, I mean.”

Will sighed. “I don’t know. I would like to have children. But I cannot ask Tessa to do such a thing, knowing she would outlive them. That is not a burden I want to ask of her.” Cecily looked up at him and saw the conflict in his eyes. “Perhaps one day we will discuss it. But for now, we are simply excited to meet our first niece or nephew.”

Cecily smiled. “Favorite uncle?”

Will grinned. “Favorite uncle.”

Gabriel did not eat dinner when he returned from the Silent City. His encounter with Tatiana had left a horrible taste in his mouth, and he’d rather not add that to the already questionable flavor of Bridget’s cooking.

Instead, he filled a plate with light foods and brought it upstairs to Cecily. She was sitting up, smiling at him as he entered. “Oh, thank the Angel, I’m famished.”

Her smile brightened his mood. She took the plate from him and dove into the food. Gabriel chuckled and kissed her head. “How are you feeling, other than famished?”

Cecily swallowed the bread in her mouth. “My back hurts. The baby is pressing against all my vital organs. Oh, and I have the frequent need to—”

“That’s lovely, Cecy,” Gabriel interrupted, turning a bright shade of red. Cecily laughed.

“The things I do to bring life into this world!” She pressed the back of her hand to her forehead dramatically. Gabriel only shook his head.

“Finish your dinner,” he said, sitting beside her. She did not have to be told twice. He watched with growing concern as she ate. “Don’t eat too quickly, Cecy, you’ll get sick.”

It was too late. Cecily leaned over the side of the bed and vomited into the bucket they kept beside their bed for cases like this. Gabriel sghed and rubbed her back. He truly despised the sound, but he had gotten all too used to it over the months. Like clockwork, Cecily reached back and plucked the handkerchief Gabriel held out to her out of his hand. She sat back up after wiping her mouth and grumbled at her belly. “I can’t wait to meet you, little one, because it also means I will be able to finish my dinner in peace.”  
  



	11. Adoration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't usually like to put notes on this story, but I had a death in the family this week, so this chapter is shorter than my usual updates because this is a fluffy filler I wrote to cope. I may update again on Sunday. Thanks for understanding and thank you all for your lovely comments on this story. They make me smile!

_To: Mrs. Linette Herondale  
_ _Ravenscar Manor  
_ _West Riding, Yorkshire_

_Dearest Mam,_

_Forgive me for such unexpected correspondence, but I wish to share wonderful news and cannot bear to wait any longer. Gabriel and I are expecting our first child, your grandchild. I am nearing the end of my pregnancy, and I find myself thinking of you more and more each day._

_Mam, this pregnancy has made me quite ill. I was not permitted to contact you, when I first learned of my pregnancy, but Will has assisted me in getting this letter to you now. He has been of great help to me, as has my dear husband, but I wish you could be here with me, too. While I do have Charlotte and Sophie, I must become a mother without my own by my side. I do not regret my choices, Mam, but I regret that they have prevented this._

_It pains me that I may never learn of your advice before the birth of this baby. But I comfort myself in the knowledge that this baby will be loved by many, no matter what happens. I know that you and Dad are out there as loving grandparents. Will has asserted that he intends to be the favorite uncle, to which Gideon has formally challenged. And I have wonderful sisters-in-law who have given me much needed support and will be supportive aunts as well. Above all, I know that my child has a guardian angel by the name of Ella._

_Do not worry for me, Mam. I am ill, but I am not weak. Know that your children are together, and happy, and think of you and Dad always. Tessa and Gabriel send their best wishes as well. We all love you very much._

_Your loving daughter, and future grandchild,_

_Cecily and Baby Lightwood_

  
“Are you sure about this, Cecy?” Will asked, taking the sealed letter from her hands. Cecily wiped a tear from her cheek. She missed her mother often but writing the letter had made her realize just how much.

“Yes,” she answered. “I want Mam to know. In case.”

Will pressed his lips into a hard line but took the letter and exited the room.

The exhaustion overcame her slowly. She had been brushing her hair, gradually running out of enough energy to hold her own brush up. The next time, it came as she emerged from the library as a dizzy spell. Had it not been for Gideon, who was leaving the library with her, perhaps she may have taken an uncomfortable nap on the Institute floor.

Her treatments could only do so much. Mostly, they kept her from vomiting up all her meals. Gabriel had hastily visited the Silent City in hopes of finding more, but Jem had found him, and warned him not to increase her dosage. Cecily could hardly stand to see him so worried. When he brought Jem back to check her and the baby, Will had made a half-hearted attempt to joke that Gabriel looked whiter than Jessamine. No one reacted.

To Cecily’s great relief, the baby was doing just fine. It was simply the baby’s increased movement causing her sudden onslaught of exhaustion and illness.

“Cecy!” A small voice squealed. Cecily looked down, brought out of her own thoughts, and looked into large, bright eyes. Barbara stood in front of her with a large grin. “Cecy! Play with me!”

Cecily smiled at her niece and pinched her cheeks. “My dear little Barbara, what do you wish to play? I’m afraid I cannot sit on the floor with you.” Barbara pouted. Gabriel, who was already on the floor in family room, holding an especially giggly Eugenia, reached up and tickled Barbara.

“I’ll play with you, Barbara,” he said with a smile. “Let Aunt Cecy rest a bit.”

Cecily matched Barbara’s pout. “But I should like to join,” she lamented. “You know how much I despise being left out of all the fun.”

Her husband shook his head, but he was smiling. “All right. What if Aunt Cecy reads to you, Barbara? Would you like that?” Barbara smiled and nodded, bouncing on her feet. Cecily knew exactly what Barbara would want her to read, so she leaned over and grabbed the worn book from the small table beside her armchair. Barbara climbed up beside her, squeezed into the tiny space that was not occupied by Cecily or her large bump, and beamed happily. Cecily cleared her throat and began to read.

“ _Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do..._ ”

As she read, Cecily glanced up to look at Gabriel. He was still seated on the floor, bouncing little Eugenia. He had a beautiful smile on his face as Eugenia squealed and laughed, patting his face with her tiny palms. Cecily always loved when Gabriel smiled; he looked so much more at peace when he did; the sharp lines of his fine features softened, and his eyes brightened. She remembered, with amusement, how terrified he had been to first hold Barbara when she was born. How far he had come by the time Eugenia came along and playing with her now.

In that moment, Gabriel peppered Eugenia’s face with kisses. She squealed even louder.

He was going to be a wonderful father.

_“Oh, let me hold her,” Gabriel declared. “I am no longer afraid of infants.”_

_“The fact that you were afraid of them at all is not reassuring,” Gideon said, amused. “But I must admit you are quite lovely with Barbara.” He gently lifted the small bundle from Sophie’s arms and walked toward Gabriel. Cecily stood nearby, smiling at her husband—oh how she loved calling him that—while attempting to quell an impatient Barbara in her own arms._

_Cecily’s heart fluttered once the baby was in his arms. There was something endearing about seeing Gabriel with a baby. She imagined what he might have looked like if the baby had been their own. Maybe one day._

_“Eugenia,” Gabriel whispered, brushing his finger against her cheek. “I’m your uncle Gabriel, and that pretty girl over there is Aunt Cecily. Though, if you’re like your sister, you can only say Cecy.”_

_Gideon and Sophie stifled laughs. Cecily had had a most amusing conversation with them back when Gabriel had finally become fully enamored by baby Barbara instead of terrified. The change in his tone when he spoke to her; it was soft, gentle. Even the affection in which he spoke to her, his wife, was different. “You flatter me, Gabriel,” she said._

_Gabriel gave her a cheeky grin then returned to his cooing over his new niece._

“Cecy!” Barbara giggled. Cecily realized she had stopped reading while in her thoughts and was now being scolded by a three-year-old.

“I’m sorry,” Cecily said with a laugh and another pinch to Barbara’s cheek. “Your uncle was distracting me.” Barbara gasped and shot her uncle a look of betrayal. Gabriel stared back incredulously.

“ _What?_ ”

Cecily smirked and cleared her throat. “Where were we, little one?”

  
  
It was near midnight when Gideon and Sophie returned to the Institute with Will and Tessa.

Gabriel sat awkwardly on the floor of the family room. All his limbs had gone numb so long ago he worried he might never get the feeling back. In one arm was Eugenia, fast asleep. Barbara sat in his lap, her head against his chest, also fast asleep, slowly dampening his shirt with drool. But he did not mind. He hadn’t the heart to move them; they looked too peaceful and sweet. Cecily had laughed at him, but her smile revealed she thoroughly enjoyed the sight. Then, not even minutes after the girls had fallen asleep, Cecily had drifted off in the armchair, her head on her palm, squishing her cheek. Gabriel enjoyed _that_ sight very much.

The doors to the Institute opened with a distant creek. “ _Shh_ ,” he heard Sophie hiss. “If you wake up my daughters, so help me Will Herondale, I will not hesitate to murder you.”

Gabriel heard nothing else, so he assumed Will might have actually listened. Sophie could be quite frightening when she wanted to be. After a few moments, Gideon and Sophie entered the family room, their faces upturning in amusement at seeing Gabriel in such a position.

“How adorable,” Sophie said quietly, kneeling down to take Eugenia from him. Gabriel shook his arm out, praying to get some feeling back soon, as Gideon then knelt to lift Barbara from his lap.

“Poor little Uncle Gabriel,” Gideon whispered, ruffling Gabriel’s hair. Gabriel scowled.

“If you weren’t holding my niece, I would slap you for that.”

“Uncle Gabe,” murmured Barbara. Gideon hushed her, but her eyes were already blinking sleepily, a soft smile on her face. “I am happy.”

Gabriel softened immediately after she called him Uncle Gabe. “Why is that?”

“I like babies. Cecy has a baby.”

Gabriel looked back toward the armchair, where Cecily remained asleep, then back at Barbara. “Yes, she does. You’ll get to meet your cousin soon, I promise.” His niece smiled, then closed her eyes and fell back asleep on her father’s shoulder. Gideon nodded at Gabriel, then took Sophie by the waist and led them out of the family room. Gabriel approached Cecily’s sleeping form and laughed quietly to himself. He hoisted her up into his arms. “Off to a proper bed with you.”

Days later, Cecily woke with a dreadful pain in her stomach. She could feel the nausea return, inching upward. It was still dark, so she knew she couldn’t have been asleep more than a few hours. Cecily heaved. She swung her hand toward Gabriel, but he was already awake, scrambling for a witchlight. The room illuminated at the same moment Cecily felt the pain stop. “Are you all right?” Gabriel asked hastily, pushing their beside bucket into her hands. She no longer felt the need to vomit, but she appreciated his automatic response.

“I—I don’t know,” She managed. “There was a great pain, but I do not feel it anymore. It went as soon as it came.”

A stele was in Gabriel’s hand before she finished speaking, ready to draw. “Do you need an _iratze_?”

“No, no, put that away.” Her thoughts were scrambled. The pain was most definitely not a kick—she knew what those felt like, and she hadn’t felt them often in the last few weeks. For a moment, Cecily panicked. It was too early to be in labor, but the feeling was just as Charlotte and Sophie had described it. “Gabriel, what time is it?”

“What?”

“I need to know what time it is,” she repeated, sternly. “Now. It is important.” Gabriel scrambled out of bed and into the hall. He returned moments later, the confused and panicked look still on his face.

“It’s nearly four in the morning, Cecy, what on earth is happening?”

“I am keeping time,” she said, feeling her belly. No movement. “I think I had a contraction.”

Gabriel dropped the witchlight. She looked back up at him to see that all the color had drained from his face. “It—It’s too early!” he stuttered. “The baby isn’t due until next month!”

“I am aware,” Cecily said, surprisingly calm. The momentary panic faded into duty. She knew what she needed to do: keep time, note if and when the pain came again, and only send for the Silent Brothers if she felt a burst. Until then, she could only wait.


	12. Preparation

Gabriel took a deep breath in attempt to calm himself. Cecily was not panicking, so there was no reason for him to panic. “Okay,” he said slowly. “By the Angel, I need water.” He stumbled over to the table and poured himself a glass.

“Gabriel?”

“Yes?”

“Are you all right?” Cecily’s voice was concerned. Gabriel might have laughed had his hand not been shaking as he raised the glass to his lips—his pregnant wife, who could be in labor, was asking _him_ if _he_ was all right. His father would have called him weak. He thought he had been prepared—ready for the birth of his child—but in that moment, when he thought Cecily was about to give birth, all his fears came rushing back.

He looked up at her and nodded. There was no need to burden her. “What do we do now?” he asked. “Just wait?” Cecily smiled softly and gestured for him to sit beside her. His legs felt like gelatin, but he came to her and sat. “I find that torture.”

Cecily laughed and curled into his side. “It may not be anything at all. The Silent Brothers warned me of the possibility of false labor.”

“This is all too stressful,” Gabriel answered, pulling her closer to him. “False labor? What sort of cruel joke is that?”

“And yet, you are not the one who must give birth,” she answered. Her hand trailed up his arm and paused over his wedding rune. He smiled, despite himself; it was their silent sign. _I love you_. “I am not afraid of labor,” she continued. “Only for the health of the baby. I hope only that this contraction was false labor because it means more time for the baby to grow.”

“Has there been any more movement?” He asked in return. Cecily shook her head.

“No. But Charlotte and Sophie said the baby would become less active the closer it comes to delivery.” She took her hand from his arm and nuzzled her head into his shoulder. “We should try to return to sleep, _fy nghariad._ ” Her voice grew quiet, and Gabriel looked down to find her eyes fluttering closed. “I will...I will tell you if there is another...”

“Sleep, Cecy,” he whispered, laying back against their pillows. “I will be right here.” Her soft snores filled the room, but they were not loud enough to drown out his thoughts.

_  
He was back in Chiswick House._

_Gabriel stood in the gravel; his bow dropped on the ground beside him. He was alone, yet the scene was all too familiar: there should have been others._

_“Gabriel.”_

_He knew that voice anywhere. Gabriel turned his head slowly. His father, in all his uptight glory and pressed suits, stood where Gideon should have been. His hands began to tremble. “You,” he said, his voice shaking. “You’re dead.”_

_“I have you to thank for that,” Benedict Lightwood answered. “Though I suppose it was brave of you, to commit such an act in front of your future wife. Quite a choice you made, marrying the girl who assisted you on your darkest day.”_

_Gabriel struggled to breathe. He knew he was dreaming, so why did he feel so vulnerable? “I love her. Unlike you, I treasure my wife.”_

_Benedict frowned slightly and held his hands behind his back. “Yes, she is quite the Shadowhunter. Brave, that one.” He nodded, glancing behind Gabriel. He turned and saw her, Cecily, dressed in gear, standing where he had first helped her up after she broke her wrist; but she was not the fifteen-year-old girl he met that day. This was his Cecily_ now _, twenty-one years old, with an infant in her arms. She was not looking at him, but he called for her anyway. She did not react._

_“I see congratulations are in order,” Benedict continued. “I am happy to see you have decided to continue the Lightwood name.”_

_“It is not your name I continue,” Gabriel said, his eyes glued to the bundle in Cecily’s arms. “It is mine. A name Gideon and I have worked tirelessly to redeem. Do not act as if you ever brought any honor to it.” His heart raced in his chest._

_“I see,” Benedict said. “I know you must think me a terrible man for what happened to your mother. I never told you the truth to spare you, and your brother and sister. If you had learned earlier, do you think you would have turned out the man you are today?”_

_“Am I supposed to thank you?” Gabriel asked, tearing his gaze away to glare at his father. “Because you will get no appreciation from me. I have worked hard to build the family I have now. Nothing you say will ever convince me to want anything else.”_

_“Not even your sister’s forgiveness?”_

_“Tatiana will never forgive me,” Gabriel answered sharply. “I’ve let go of any ridiculous notions I had to ever reconcile with her. Have you anything of value to say, or are you only here to feed off my fears?”_

_Benedict’s expression remained unchanged. Gabriel wondered if his dream really meant anything at all and only manifested as a means of self-destruction. He could still see the distant figure of his wife and child beyond the gravel. He wanted nothing more than to go to them._

_“Very well,” Benedict answered. “Be angry with me. I did what I needed to do for you, Gabriel. It is a father’s duty.”_

_Gabriel’s fears snapped. “I will never be like you!” Gabriel kicked the bow away from his feet. The distant cries of an infant disappeared. “To begin with, all my children will train as Shadowhunters, boy or girl. I would be a fool to do to my daughter what you condemned Tatiana to. You may have loved me, Father, in whatever distorted way, but my children will never wonder if their father loves them; they will know it.”_

_Benedict’s demeanor cracked, and an amused smiled broke through. “It is easy to say all sorts of pretty things, Gabriel, but one day you will learn that only rule and order are the way to run your household.”_

_“Watch me,” Gabriel said. He watched his father, who he had imagined having this conversation with a thousand times. Standing there, with the image of Cecily and their child in his mind, suddenly made every clear. “Goodbye, Father.”_

_Gabriel turned away, not bothering to see if Benedict’s form faded into nothing. When he turned, Cecily stood before him, with a gentle smile. Gabriel breathed, his body releasing all tension. He began to look down, into the bundle in her arms---_

_“Gabriel!”_

  
“Gabriel!”

Cecily shook her husband yet again. She was right near ready to spill the remaining contents of the pitcher over him by the time he finally stirred. His eyes shot open. He looked around, disoriented, until his eyes found hers and he relaxed. “Cecy,” he said, his voice raspy. “What is it? Is it time?”

She laughed and shook her head. “No, no. I was correct, it was a false contraction. The baby and I are just fine. Come, we are late for breakfast.”

As he stood and dressed, Cecily noticed a change in his demeanor. She thought he seemed much lighter than he had the previous night. As if he could sense her staring, he turned and smiled brightly at her.

“I do not know what you must have dreamed of,” she said, looking at him over the edge of her glass as she took her morning dose of treatment, “but it must have been quite the dream. You seem much more confident.”

He simply finished shrugging on his coat, the smile softening his face. “It was what I needed,” he answered. Cecily raised her eyebrow but refrained from questioning further.

Whatever had happened, her self-assured Gabriel had returned, and she was excited to have him back.

**  
25 Days Before**

Cecily finished picking the peaches out of Barbara’s breakfast fruit bowl. She had stubbornly refused to eat until the “scary stuff with the hair” was out of her bowl. Cecily made a mental note to remind Bridget to avoid putting any suspicious looking fruits in Barbara’s food.

“That must have been so worrisome,” Tessa said, responding to Cecily’s retelling of the previous night’s events. “I agree, it is best if we do not tell Will. He will only send for Jem again, and I fear he is quite close to being banned from the Silent City forever.”

Cecily snorted as she spread an excessive amount of jam on her toast. “You signed up for that mess when you married my brother,” she said, and took a large bite. She pointed her finger at Tessa and swallowed. “I am stuck with him, but you chose him. I meant it when I told you ‘good luck’ at your wedding.”

Tessa handed Cecily a napkin, with a slight look of horror at her plate. “I knew quite well what I was getting,” she smiled. “Have you considered any names yet?”

“No,” Cecily answered. She swallowed another bite of her toast—though, it was mostly jam. “What do you think, Barbara? What should your uncle and I should name the baby?”

Barbara pondered for a moment. A steam of fruit juice dripped down her chin. “Alice,” she answered. “Like my book.”

“That is a pretty name,” Cecily smiled. She leaned over and wiped Barbara’s face. “I will put it on the list.” Barbara beamed. Cecily turned to Tessa. “Where is Sophie? She has been gone with Eugenia for quite a bit—”

A loud swearing rang through the corridor. Barbara dropped her spoon and threw her hands over her ears, just as she was taught. Cecily and Tessa stared at each other quizzically before Gabriel appeared in the doorway. He wore a smug smile on his face. “Was that Will?” Tessa asked warily. Gabriel nodded.

“Yes. I’ve just beat him at Ludo, and he’s quite the dreadful loser.”

“ _He cheated_!”

  
As she often did, Cecily lay in the comfort of the library chaise for her afternoon rest. The end of her pregnancy had her much more tired than she had ever felt in her life, and the library chaise was where she found the best comfort aside from her own bedroom.

The distant sounds of her family leaving for a Clave meeting lulled her to sleep.

_  
_ _This was not a memory. No, she would know if it was._

_But Cecily was back in Wales, standing in the stables beside her childhood home. The sky was a brilliant blue. The grass tickling her ankles was a damp with the morning dew._

_“Oh, Cecy, you’ve grown so much.”_

_Cecily’s heart flipped a thousand times in a single second. Her eyes filled with tears. “Ella,” she breathed. Her sister stood, just as Cecily had remembered her, in the stall before her. She was older than Ella, now, and it seemed strange to look at her elder sister frozen in time. But Ella smiled, and opened her arms. Cecily crashed into them. “Ella, what—what are you doing here? All the times I wished for you to come to me—”_

_“I was always there,” Ella said softly. “Even if you could not see me.”_

_Cecily sniffed. “Will—can Will see you?”_

_She felt Ella squeeze her again before pulling back. Cecily stared into the face that looked so much like her own. “No,” Ella answered. She laid her hand softly on Cecily’s cheek. “I am not a ghost, so_ Gwilym _cannot see me. I come when I am needed most.”_

_Instinctively, Cecily moved her hand to her stomach, which was bare of any bump. She began to panic, but Ella only shook her head. “Don’t worry, Cecy, your baby is still with you. Strange, the land of dreams is.”_

_“You would have been a wonderful aunt, Ella,” Cecily said, her throat choked with sobs. “I had hoped somehow you would know of the baby. I am so happy you do.”_

_Ella squeezed Cecily’s arms and gave her a reassuring smile. All those times Cecily managed to get herself into trouble, and got scared, it was always Ella and Will’s comforting smiles that made her feel better. It was like she was eight years old again. “Of course I know,” Ella said. “What was it you called me in your letter to Mam? A guardian angel? Well, I’m not an angel either, but I should like to think of myself as a sort of protector. You think I was going to let the world take my darling little sister’s baby from her? Absolutely not.”_

_Cecily hiccupped. “The illness.” Ella nodded._

_“Yes. Dreadful as it may be, you will be all right,_ chwaer annwyl.”

_“How can you know?” Cecily refused to let go of Ella’s hand. Dream or not, she wanted to get every possible moment with her sister that she could._

_Ella patted Cecily’s hand and sat on the bench in the stall, pulling Cecily down next to her. “Because,” she began, confidently. “You are Cecily Herondale, the most stubborn of the Herondale siblings. You have Will with you, and he has always protected you. And that darling husband of yours.” Cecily smiled. “Gabriel Lightwood. He is rather handsome, I must say, and a devoted man. I have seen what he does for you, and you for him. Some would say you are a perfect match.”_

_Cecily laughed, but the tears continued to fall. “I believe Will would have a tantrum at hearing you say that.” Ella laughed, too. The sounds of the Welsh countryside began to grow louder, and Ella’s form began to shimmer. Cecily stopped laughing and gripped Ella’s hand tighter. “Ella, please don’t go.”_

_But the older girl remained perfectly calm. “There is no need to worry. Like I said, you may not always see me, but I am there.”_

_“What am I supposed to do now?” Cecily’s heart pounded. There was so much more she wanted to say to her sister. Nearly twelve years of things to say._

_“What you have always done,” Ella answered. Her eyes were bright, and her hair neatly plaited over her shoulder. While Cecily’s hair floated in the breeze, Ella’s remained perfectly still. “Endure. You are capable of so much, Cecily, and I have seen it. Do not lose faith in yourself, for self-confidence is key. You will be a wonderful mother. I have no doubt about it. That is why I am here. So that you know you will always have your family with you, old and new. That home you have made in London is precious; you will never feel lonely again.”_

_Cecily pawed at her face with her free hand, failing to wipe all her tears away. “I love you, Ella.”_

_Ella smiled. “And I love you. Tell Will I shall visit him soon.”_

_And then Ella was gone._

_Cecily suddenly found herself back in the Institute, in front of her bedroom. She could hear Gabriel’s voice beyond the door, cooing. A small, but distinct sound of infant babble rose along with his. Cecily smiled, and pushed the door open._

_  
_ Cecily woke and immediately felt at her cheeks. They were wet. She sat up and wiped them away, remembering what Ella had said to her. _You will never feel lonely again._

She stood and left the library hastily. “Will!” she called as she spilled out of the doors. “Will, where are you?” Her brother appeared after a few seconds, stumbling over his own feet as he threw open the doors to the drawing room.

“What?” he said frantically. “What is it?” She ran at him as well as anyone who was eight months pregnant could and crushed him in a warm embrace. He stepped back to catch their balance before returning her embrace. “What on earth, Cecy?”

“I saw Ella,” she cried, and felt his arms stiffen. “She came to me in my dream. She is happy, Will. She said she has always been here. She knows about the baby, and of Gabriel and Tessa.” She peeled her face back from her brother’s shoulder, where two wet circles stained his shirt. He looked at her with a pained expression. “She told me to tell you that she will visit you soon.”

He was silent for a long moment, staring at her as if he were about to suddenly accuse her of some cruel joke. “Well, that is a rather ominous message,” he said finally, his voice choked. Cecily laughed through her own tears and nodded. He continued, in a much quieter voice. “Is—Is she angry with me?”

“No,” Cecily assured, with a shake of her head. “She is not angry. She never was.”

A tear dripped down Will’s face, but his pained expression began to dissolve. He pulled her back into their embrace. And for a while, the Herondale siblings stood there in the Institute corridor, together; all three of them.  
  



	13. Anticipation

_When Cecily Herondale was thirteen years old, her mother took her into town. She had claimed it was to purchase Cecily a new dress, as she had been rapidly outgrowing her others, but Cecily knew better. She smelled the distinct scent of alcohol on her father as he waved them off. He was never the same after Ella and Will._

_Cecily struggled to contain her impatience as they strolled down the street of the small Welsh town. There were only two clothing shops in the town, and they were not very large. “Mam,” she huffed. “I’ve had enough of this dreary town.”_

_Linette turned and shot Cecily a tired look. “It is a nice day,” she said with a sigh. “Please do enjoy it. Look,” she pointed toward a gathering in front of the church. “The Morgans are celebrating the birth of their grandson.”_

_“I haven’t the least bit interest in the familial affairs of people I have never met,” Cecily said._

_Her mother only continued walking. Cecily grew bored of wandering about their home, alone, yet she felt more lonely walking about the streets of town with the reputation of that strange girl who lives in the country than she did in the comfort of her own bedroom. Her mother paused in front of a pastry shop and smiled wistfully. It had been ages since Cecily had tasted a cake. They could not afford them anymore._

_“One day, you will have children of your own,” her mother said in a sad voice. “And you will wish to celebrate every moment with them that you can.”_

_Cecily bit her tongue. She knew better than to bring up Ella or Will to her parents, but it was more difficult to navigate the conversation when they brought them up first. “How shall I have children if I am not allowed to socialize? Surely I cannot meet a potential husband if I never leave the embrace of my own home.”_

_Her mother’s shoulders lifted a bit. She turned to Cecily in amusement. “I met your father from the comfort of my carriage.”_

_Cecily rolled her eyes. “Killing a demon. How romantic of a first impression.”_

_Her mother only dragged her along to the last—albite only other—shop. Despite her complaints, Cecily did very much enjoy the dress she had found there and spoke to her mother of all sorts of silly things on their journey back. But when they returned home that day, their lives would change. Her father had gambled away their home; the home where Cecily was born and raised, where her memories of her brother and sister were. The next day, they would set course for Yorkshire, England._

**15 Days Before**

After months of dealing with dizzy spells, vomiting, and exhaustion, Cecily thought she ought to at least have her own engraved nameplate on the sickroom bed to commemorate its most recurrent patient.

She returned to her bedroom after her overnight stay in the infirmary. She hadn’t wanted to stay there, but her growing back pains and nausea suggested she was quite close to labor. After her first false contraction, Cecily was hesitant to send for the Silent Brothers, though that was exactly what Will attempted to do after her second false contraction occurred while he sat with her only a few days after the first. It took both her and Tessa’s soothing and unconcerned voices to convince him it was not time. Gabriel, though ever worried for her health, had been surprisingly calm and only noted the time out loud.

Cecily had watched him with affection after he told her of his dream later that same day. She was surprised to learn that his dream, that day she got her confident Gabriel back, had been about his father. He seemed even lighter, then, telling her about it. There was a softness in his voice when he told her of their child being present in his dream. “She’s beautiful,” Gabriel had said. Cecily only laughed.

“What makes you think your dream was correct, and that our baby is a girl?”

Gabriel had only smiled. “Call it intuition”

She told him of her dream of Ella, and that she truly believed her sister had come to see her. Gabriel listened attentively, understanding just how much it meant to her. He had laughed when Cecily mentioned that Ella found him handsome. “She took to liking me much faster than your father did,” was his response.

Emerging from her thoughts, Cecily heard a bit of commotion rising from further down the hall. Gabriel had spent the prior evening with Will converting one of the spare bedrooms into a nursery, but she hadn’t expected them to _still_ be in there. She hauled herself out of bed with great effort and stepped out into the hall. “Gabriel?” she called warily.

There was a thud followed by Gabriel’s head poking out from the doorway. “Cecy!” he said happily, although she remained a bit suspicious. “I’m thrilled to see you’re feeling better.”

“What are you still getting up to in there?” she asked. Gabriel stepped further into the hall to reveal his dusty trousers and wrinkled shirt. Cecily sighed. “By the Angel, have you slept at all?”

Gabriel only continued to smile. “Yes, on the floor. Never mind that now. We’ve been making a few additional changes to the nursery.”

Cecily dropped her hand from her bedroom door. “May I see it?” Gabriel gestured for her to come, so she sauntered over as quickly as she could. He placed a soft kiss on her cheek as she turned her head to peer into the room. Her heart melted at the sight.

Rather than simply exchange the bed for a cradle, her boys had gone to great lengths to completely transform the room. The cradle was there, of course, but the colors of the room had also been lightened with new curtains, blankets, and pillows. There was a large armchair placed beside the cradle, with a small towel draped over the side, where Will was seated. He looked up at her and smiled brightly. Cecily cradled her large bump and breathed, “Oh, it’s so beautiful.”

“I am quite glad you like it,” Will said, standing. “Because I will not be doing this again.”

Cecily looked at her brother with amusement. “Building nurseries is straw that broke the camel’s back for you, Will? Head of the London Institute? Leader of the Enclave?”

If sarcasm had a face, it was Will Herondale’s. “It was not my decision to place beds in the rooms that cannot be removed from the rooms without disassembly, and _that_ is what we learned last night.”

So that explained the pile of debris in the entryway of the Institute she saw as she returned to her room. “Well, the room is beautiful. I do hope to spend much time in here.”

“We have Bridget, you know,” Will said, though he paused after seeing Cecily’s gaze at her belly. “Though, I am not surprised to see you’d prefer to do much of the work yourself.”

“This is my child,” Cecily said simply. Her mother’s gentle voice rang through her mind. “I would like to spend as much time with my baby as I can.”

Gabriel’s arms wrapped around her then in a gentle embrace. “Jessamine visited while we were, um, dismantling the previous bed. Will says she’s been critiquing the layout of the room all night.”

Will frowned. “She still is.”

Though she could not see ghosts like her brother, Cecily glanced around the room, hoping at to speak to Jessamine herself. “I quite like it,” she said loudly. “And it is _my_ baby.”

“She says there is no need to shout.”

**10 Days Before**

It was at dinner when Cecily felt another contraction.

She’d been nearly through with her plate, a fork halfway to her mouth, when the uncomfortable sensation returned. Gideon’s story about the latest Clave meeting came to a screeching halt with the sound of her fork clattering against her plate.

No one said a word, but all eyes were on her, eyebrows pinched in concern. Cecily squeezed her own eyes shut as she gripped the table. Then, after a few seconds, Gabriel whispered, “seven thirty.”

The feeling gradually dissipated, and Cecily opened her eyes again. “I am fine,” she said with a deep breath. “Please continue.”

Will bounced his fork impatiently in his hand. “Are you truly not going to send for the Silent Brothers ever?” he questioned. “Or do you intend to give birth alone, with only your iron determination and astute stubbornness to assist you?”

Cecily rolled her eyes and sat straighter, patting Gabriel’s hand that had moved over hers. “I know when I need to send for them, Will,” she retorted. “And I have Sophie and Tessa. Not to mention Charlotte assured me that she will arrive when word is sent for the Brothers so that she may assist me as well.”

“Everything is perfectly under control,” Tessa said with an amused, but gentle, smile. “We’ve discussed all options thoroughly, haven’t we, Sophie?”

Sophie nodded in agreement. “I remember what it was like, not knowing which one would be _the_ one. But we’re ready, I promise.”

Will grumbled but returned to his dinner without further comment. Cecily glanced at Gabriel, who continued to peer up at the clock throughout the rest of dinner and smiled softly. She did not know if this would be _the_ one, but at least she was not alone.

  
“Sophie,” Cecily whispered with a soft tug at her sister-in-law’s arm. Gabriel had gone with Gideon to fetch the evening mundane paper, which left Cecily with a small window of opportunity to have a serious conversation with Sophie.

The other girl turned and frowned. “What is it, Cecily? Do you feel all right?”

“Yes, yes. I wanted to speak with you about,” Cecily paused and darted her eyes around the room, confirmed that Will was not there. “About the plan.”

Sophie’s face hardened, but she nodded and followed Cecily to nearest sofa. “What about it?” Sophie said.

Cecily took a deep breath. “Neither of us know what to expect with my delivery,” she said. “Even the Silent Brothers cannot predict whether it will be a complicated labor or not. And I need to know that my baby will be okay, regardless.”

Sophie gazed steadily at Cecily, which unnerved her. Sophie’s deliveries had gone relatively smoothly. She had not experienced the same intense illness Cecily had, nor did she ever have any reason to believe either of her daughters’ heath were at risk. Cecily did. “You mustn’t think that way, Cecily,” Sophie said. “The Brothers are excellent doctors, and your illness has been well managed since we learned of it. What would Gabriel say if he heard you speaking like this? Or Will?”

“Well that is precisely why I am speaking to you and not them.” Cecily sighed and took Sophie’s hands in hers. “I do not think anything horrible will happen to me, but I’d like to be prepared. Gabriel is a wonderful husband, and no doubt will be an excellent father, but only another mother understands how I feel right now, Sophie.”

Sophie closed her eyes and sighed. “I know. But we’ve already discussed various scenarios before, with Tessa, Charlotte, and Jem. Why is it you bring it up again now? Is there something you wish to change?” She opened her eyes again and looked at Cecily, her hazel eyes stern, a bit like an older sister’s—it reminded her of Ella.

Cecily bit her lip. “If something begins to go wrong, and I mean terribly wrong, I should like for Gabriel to be allowed in. I want to be with him.”

Sophie’s breath hitched, but she nodded. Cecily noticed the shining in Sophie’s eyes that indicated she was about to cry. “Okay,” she said. “We will bring him in if that should be the case. But it will not be the case, and I’d rather wish this conversation was over because it is making me quite distressed, Cecily. Please think optimistically.”

Cecily smiled then. “I am optimistic that I have quite the best sisters-in-law in the world to put up with my wild pregnancy worries and disastrous taste in cravings.”

Sophie turned and smiled with a shake of her head. “You are too much like your brother sometimes, I’m afraid.”

“I detest that.”

Gideon and Gabriel strolled into the room with boisterous laughter. The two girls looked up at them with curious looks. Gideon approached Sophie with a massive grin and lifted her to her feet. She made a sound of surprise but did not resist his embrace. With a laugh, she said, “What on earth?”

Gideon smiled at her, then glanced over her shoulder and smiled at Cecily. “Nothing. We’ve just had a wonderful stroll and conversation.” He seemed to notice the evidence of tears in Sophie’s face and his own expression faltered. “What happened?”

Gabriel turned and frowned. Before Sophie could respond, Cecily piped up. “We’ve just had a mother to mother moment, haven’t we Sophie?”

Sophie only nodded and smiled at Gideon, her heart seeming to lift. “I am quite all right, now. Shall we get the girls and head home?”

Gideon seemed to be in a very romantic and happy mood, as he swiftly lifted Sophie into his arms and whisked her out of the room with a shout to his daughters that Papa was on his way. Cecily turned to Gabriel, amused, and found him laughing. “What in the world did you two discuss that has you both in such high spirits?”

Gabriel came and sat beside her, taking her hand in his. His eyes were bright. “We were just discussing how wonderful our wives are and that we are just a couple of idiots who somehow managed to convince you both to love us.”

Cecily raised an eyebrow. “Hmm,” she said, unconvinced. “While I agree that I am truly a gem worthy of marvel, that seems a bit of an extravagant conversation for a stroll to the newsstand.”

Gabriel only moved his hands to her belly. “I have plenty reason to be happy recently,” he said confidently. “Another false contraction, then? It has been over an hour.”

“I believe so,” Cecily answered. Her back was still sore, as it had been the last few months, but the pressure against her ribcage had lessened. “But it will be any day now.” Gabriel looked up and, instead of the fear she saw months before, she saw excitement.

**1 Day Before**

“Eugenia Lightwood, do not put that in your mouth!”

Tessa quickly seized the small flower Eugenia had managed to yank from the bushes in the Institute garden. The toddler looked up at Tessa, then at Cecily, and began to scream. Barbara, who had been twirling around in the small patch of grass, stopped and frowned toward her sister. Cecily, who had been in sour mood all morning, pinched her nose.

Tessa replaced the flower Eugenia intended to eat with a piece of fruit, and her screaming stopped. With a hefty sigh, Cecily looked at Barbara. “Don’t you go eating flowers either.” Barbara shook her head with a look of disgust.

Cecily stood with her hands on her back in attempt to help support the weight of her fully-grown belly. The soreness in her back had caused her to have such a restless sleep the night prior and resulted in her sour mood. But as she stood, she began to recognize a familiar feeling creep up. “Tessa, what is the time?”

Tessa, accustomed to carrying a pocket watch after the first few incidents of false contractions, looked at the time. “Ten fifteen,” she said calmly. “Do you need to sit down?”

“Yes, I believe so.” With Tessa’s help, she tilted back and plopped onto the small bench in the garden. The contraction lasted a bit longer than the others but disappeared after a time. She looked at Tessa with a sudden realization. “Tessa, I woke up with a contraction this morning.”

Tessa stared back, her eyes widening slightly. “Okay, no need to panic,” she said quickly. “It is ten fifteen now. When was the last one?”

“Roughly eight.”

“Tessa!” Will’s voice bellowed from the second floor of the Institute. The girls, including the children, looked up to find Will standing on the newly added balcony. “Tessa, my dear, I need your assistance! This is a dire situation!”

Cecily exchanged dubious looks with Tessa. “Go,” she said. “I will be all right. Give me your pocket watch. I will keep time. And Tessa—” Tessa, in the act of handing over her pocket watch, looked up at Cecily. “Don’t tell Will.”

“What about Gabriel?”

“Gabriel is with Gideon and Sophie in Pimlico. They’re clearing out the house. I’d rather not bother them unless I am certain.” Cecily squeezed Tessa’s hand as she took the pocket watch. She smiled softly. “They will be back in a couple of hours. I will be okay.”

“At least come inside the house,” Tessa said, reaching her arm out. Cecily took it and called for Barbara. The girl came bouncing.

It was now noon, and Cecily had experienced several more contractions, each coming sooner after the other. After the fourth, Cecily decided that the time had come.

She was pacing in family room of the London Institute, where Barbara was drawing quietly on the floor with a set of pencils her father had brought to her after one of his trips to Idris. Cecily tried her hardest to breathe as normally as possible so not to spook her niece. Tessa had yet to return from whatever melodrama Will had summoned her for, and Cecily hesitated to call any attention her way. But once the inevitable had arrived, she called for someone she could not see.

“ _Jessamine_ ,” she hissed through the pain. “Oh, I really hope you can hear me, Jessamine.” She took a deep breath and gripped the nearest chair. “Get Will and Tessa. Tell them I’m in labor.”

She hoped that the rush of air she felt meant that Jessamine had, in fact, heard her, but she didn’t want to take any chances. Cecily turned to Barbara, who looked up with her face turned up in curiosity. It was then, in a miracle that Cecily attributed to the Angel, that she heard the front door of the Institute open, and Gabriel’s voice floating through the halls. “Barbara, darling, I need you to listen to me closely,” Cecily breathed painfully. “I need you to go downstairs, find your uncle Gabriel, and tell him the baby is coming.”

Barbara scrambled off the floor and scampered off in the direction of the landing, where surely Gabriel and her parents would see her from the bottom of the steps. Cecily carefully moved toward the doors as well, after Barbara, to head toward the room they had prepared for delivery. She could hear Barbara’s small voice shout, “Papa!”

“Barbara!” Gideon’s voice was incredulous. “Why are you alone? Where is Aunt Cecily?”

From down the hall, away from the steps, Cecily heard a startled shout and the door to her brother’s study slamming open. Jessamine _did_ hear her.

“Cecy says baby is coming,” Barbara answered innocently. The distant sound of various metal objects clattering against the tile floor rang through the building, followed by thundering footsteps. She emerged through the doorway right as Will appeared at her side, his eyes wide. Gabriel spilled in from the stairs less than a second later, his eyes even wider. Gideon and Sophie scrambled up behind him, and Gideon scooped Barbara up into his arms quickly.

Cecily looked into Gabriel’s eyes and nodded. “It is time.”

“Oh, for—” Will stopped himself from swearing up a storm and helped her into Gabriel’s grasp. Her husband held onto her tightly, helping her cross the hall toward the delivery room. “I am going to summon the Brothers now, Cecily.”

She only nodded and went with Gabriel without complaint, holding on to his arm with such a tight grip that the skin on his arm began to turn white.

“How far apart are the pains?” Sophie piped up from Cecily’s other side, carrying towels. Cecily groaned.

“These last two were about thirty minutes.”

Gabriel looked over at Sophie with concern. “What does that mean?”

Tessa appeared in a hurry and rushed in front of them into the room. Sophie tossed the towels at her then grabbed Cecily’s other arm to help her down onto the bed. “It means she’s in labor, but it will likely be another few hours before the baby arrives.”

“Hours?” Gabriel choked, looking down at Cecily. She squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“Yes, hours.” Sophie moved about the room with the wisdom of experience. “This is Cecily’s first child. The first takes the longest. Not to mention Cecily has had a difficult pregnancy.”

“We knew this,” Cecily murmured to him. His face did not easy of worry, but he had remained mostly calm, and Cecily was grateful. “It will be all right. I trust Sophie and Tessa.”

“I will stay as long as I can,” Gabriel answered, sitting beside her. Sophie smiled at them and moved over to Tessa, where they spoke quietly. Cecily hoped that Sophie had passed along her request to Tessa and Charlotte.

Will stumbled into the room wildly. “Jem is coming, and so are Charlotte, Henry, and Charles.”

“Where is Gideon?” Sophie asked from Tessa’s side. Will vaguely gestured toward the stairs.

“He has the girls. He is waiting by the Portal to escort our friends. Gabriel, he said he will wait for you in hall when it is time.”

Cecily squeezed her eyes shut as another contraction came. It passed, and a rush of liquid spilled down her leg moments after. She gripped Gabriel’s hand tight.

“My water just broke,” she gasped.  
  
  



	14. The Time Has Come

Sophie and Tessa moved quickly. Tessa grabbed several pillows off the ground at the end of the bed and tossed them to Sophie with graceful urgency. Sophie stacked them against the headboard. She seemed quite calm, which helped ease Gabriel’s worries. “Gabriel, help me get Cecily to lay back,” Sophie said with an authority that Gabriel did not dare to question. He stood and, with Sophie at the other side of the bed, they hauled Cecily onto her back against the pillows. She groaned uncomfortably.

“How much does it hurt, Cecy?” Will asked from the foot of the bed. His knuckles were white where he gripped the frame. Midday light poured in from the window and shone across his face, illuminating the intense worry in his features. Cecily shot him an icy glare.

“Would you like to find out?” She snapped. She let out a slow breath and adjusted her position. “By the Angel, I’m not even close to full pain yet, am I, Sophie?”

Sophie’s face softened. Her hands were busy pinning Cecily’s hair up, her dark strands making Sophie’s skin much paler by comparison. “No.”

Gabriel lowered himself to sit beside Cecily before his legs could give out. Too many things had happened that day, and it was not even twelve thirty. Cecily reached her hand up, which Gabriel grabbed and held tightly. “Like I said, I will stay as long as I can,” he assured. “They will drag me out of here kicking and screaming.”

Cecily smiled, obviously amused. “That is quite the image. I look forward to it.”

Tessa moved at Will’s side. She had been standing so still Gabriel had nearly forgotten she was there. She’d pinned her hair back tightly, as had Sophie, and wore an apron that made Gabriel begin to feel nauseated. He remembered last time Tessa wore a similar apron—when Eugenia was born, and he had caught a glimpse of Adelaide removing the laundry afterward, the apron stained with blood.

“The two of you being in here, even now, is still a shock to me,” Tessa said, gesturing to him and Will. “The differences between Shadowhunters and mundanes are still so odd to me.”

Sophie smiled. “This is one difference I do not mind. I could not imagine going through this without Gideon.”

Gabriel recalled how stressed Gideon had been once they’d pushed him out of the room during both of Sophie’s deliveries. He refused to leave the corridor, planting himself firmly in the armchair Gabriel had dragged out from one of the spare bedrooms.

“Rather barbaric,” Will grumbled, leaning forward so his elbows rested against the giveaway frame. He pulled a blanket over Cecily’s now shoeless feet. “Any decent husband would stay with his wife.”

Gabriel decided not to point out that Will had indirectly complimented him.

The door to the room swung open soundlessly, and Charlotte, still dressed in her Consul robes, rushed into the room. Her face relaxed when she noticed all the people in the room. “Oh, thank the Angel, I’ve made it.”

“There is still plenty of time,” Cecily breathed with impatience. Gabriel squeezed her hand again.

Sophie greeted Charlotte with a warm smile and took her into the dressing room, where Gabriel assumed the ladies kept their spare clothes and aprons. He could hear Henry’s loud, excited voice elsewhere in the Institute, followed by the squeals of small children. Will walked toward the door and stuck his head out, speaking to someone Gabriel could not see. After a moment, Will shut the door and returned to the end of Cecily’s bed. “Gideon is in the hall,” he said to Gabriel. “He’s brought out the chairs.”

Cecily was not pleased with the prospect of spending hours in labor, but the inevitable blessing that would be her and Gabriel’s child was worth the aggravating fussing her brother had been doing for the last two hours.

“Will, I will carve out your innards and leave them to the creatures in Hyde Park if you try to draw one more _iratze_ on me.”

Will frowned, his stele no-so-secretly concealed in his sleeve. He looked at Jem, who had arrived only a few minutes after Charlotte. _An_ iratze _will not do much,_ Jem said. _Best to leave it be, William._

Cecily squeezed her eyes shut as another contraction, the fourth in only a few minutes, came. She let out a small cry, and Gabriel’s hand in hers tightened. The room was silent until she opened her eyes and slumped her head back against the pillows.

“They’re coming faster now,” Tessa said from her seat beside the changing curtain in the corner of the room. She looked to Jem, then to Charlotte and Sophie. “We ought to start checking.”

Cecily hardly reacted. The intense pressure in her lower body was beginning to take over every thought in her mind. Sweat beaded across her forehead and base of her neck. She cried out again with another contraction; this time, her cry was louder and with choked breath: “Now! Check now!”

“Out!” Sophie declared, bolting from her seat and pointing at finger at Cecily’s brother and husband. “Both of you!”

Will shouted as Tessa shooed him away from the bed. Gabriel turned hastily to Cecily. Her face had begun to burn from the strain. “Go,” she forced out with a nod of her head. “I am in good hands.”

Gabriel had no time to respond. Will yanked the back of his collar and dragged him toward the exit, ignoring Gabriel’s choking. Sophie and Tessa lifted Cecily into a sitting position, a nursing gown in Tessa’s arms. The door shut; the sound of the lock clicking echoed through the room.

Will let go of Gabriel’s collar and looked at him evenly. “Now we wait,” he said unhappily.

Gabriel gaped at the door, then looked between Will and Gideon. Gideon was sitting calmly in one of the armchairs with a newspaper in his hands. According to Jem and Charlotte, he’d been sitting there as long as Gabriel had been sitting beside Cecily. “I figured it would be pointless to convince you to go elsewhere while you wait.”

Gabriel crossed the hall and slumped into the seat beside his brother. “You are correct.”

Will was halfway into his seat when the screaming began.

Cecily felt terribly exposed in the nursing gown, but she was in too much pain to care. The contractions were coming stronger, but Charlotte raised her head with a frown every time she checked for progress. “It’s not time yet, Cecy, I’m sorry.”

She cursed in Welsh and threw her head back against the pillows, which were quickly becoming drenched in sweat. “I—I don’t think I can take more hours of this,” she said. A sob tore from her mouth as another wave of pain came. Tessa wiped her forehead with a damp cloth, her face unreadable.

“You must,” Sophie said firmly. Her voice may have sounded sure, but when Cecily looked at her, a tear streaking down her face, she could see the worry in her sister-in-law’s eyes.

“It hurts,” Cecily said in a small voice. It hurt so much more than she expected. Nothing Sophie or Charlotte could have said would have prepared her for this. Her chest heaved, and she screamed again.

_I’m sorry, Cecily,_ Jem’s voiced floated through her mind. She turned to him. He stood behind Tessa, who sat beside the bed; a slightly unnerving but necessary presence. _Anything stronger than an_ iratze _could harm you and the baby._

Cecily nodded. She knew this was going to be difficult. It was why they sent for Jem at all; the risk was too high to attempt to deliver without a Silent Brother, and Will only trusted one with the task of monitoring her. A million worries tumbled in Cecily’s mind. Would her baby survive delivery? Would _she_ survive delivery? Good God, she had forgotten to tell Gabriel she loved him before he left. She had to tell him—

She gasped, attempting to pull herself off the bed. Sophie and Tessa immediately grabbed her arms and held her down. She turned a wild look at them. “I didn’t tell Gabriel I love him.”

They stared back, wide eyed. “Cecily,” Sophie whispered. Her grip was strong. “He knows.”

Tessa gave her an understanding look, her eyes strangely comforting, the way a storm cloud might appear just before the rain began to fall in a peaceful patter. Her voice was gentle while she attempted to comfort Cecily. “You may tell him with your baby in your arms.”

Several more contractions and screams came before Charlotte snapped her head up with a sudden determination; the same look she wore right before battle. “It’s time.” She pulled her stool closer to the foot of Cecily’s bed and dropped the giveaway frame. “Cecily, _push_.”

Cecily screamed again.

He didn’t know how much longer he could stand the cries. No other sounds came from the room than Cecily’s screams of pain, and Gabriel had half a mind to cause major property damage to the Institute. Will wasn’t any more thrilled. The veins in his neck were bulging and his leg bounced impatiently. They both winced at the terrible sound.

“She’ll be fine,” Gideon repeated to them every time they made a move to leap out of their seats. Gabriel wanted to strangle him.

Another hour passed before the screams reached their loudest, then stopped suddenly. 

Gabriel and Will had their ears pressed against the door as soon as the screaming stopped. He had another half a mind to use a hearing rune but knew that there were only so many societal rules he could break in a day. Gideon’s hand slipped off Gabriel’s shoulder with a soft thud against the upholstery of the chair as he leaped out of his seat, followed by a sigh. Gabriel shoved Will’s hand away from the door handle, hovering his own over it, aching to turn it despite knowing full well it would still be locked.

Through the door, he could hear the piercing cries of a baby. His heart thumped against his chest; it was _his_ baby. His and Cecily’s. He flicked his eyes up to meet Will’s, which widened at the sound. “Sounds strong,” Will whispered to him. “Hearty lungs.”

Gabriel began to smile, feeling relief flow through him and a rush of unconditional love. There was a scurrying of footsteps, and hushed voices. The tension in his body returned: none of the voices sounded like Cecily’s.

There was someone standing just on the other side of the door, clanking various metal objects against the small table Gabriel knew was there. “We need towels.” It was Charlotte’s voice. “There has to be more.”

There was a muffled response, but Gabriel caught one word, a word that made his heart seize in complete and utter fear.

_Amisso_. A rune to slow excessive bleeding.

Will began pounding on the door furiously. “ _Amisso_?” he shouted with extreme agitation. “WHAT IN BLOODY HELL DO YOU MEAN _AMISSO_?”

So, Gabriel did not imagine it. He began pounding on the door with Will, fighting against Gideon’s arms reaching out in attempt to stop them. “Cecily!” Gabriel called desperately. “ _Cecily!_ ” The cries of the baby grew louder, which was the only thing in the entire world that could have convinced him to stop beating on the door. “Good God,” he yelled, dropping his arms. He slapped Will’s hands, shaking his head to tell him to stop. “Someone tell me what is happening in there!”

Charlotte’s stern voice snapped through the door. “Cease your incessant banging and screaming. You’re frightening the baby!”

Gabriel’s face twitched. “You’re frightening _me_ ,” he answered with a bit of hysteria. His hands were shaking. “ _Charlotte_.”

There was a rustle, but the door remained shut. “They’re both all right,” she said, her voice as clear as if she were standing right before them. She must have used a sound rune. “Cecily does not need an _amisso_. You obviously did not hear us correctly in the midst of your eavesdropping.”

Gabriel slumped against the door in sweet relief, sliding down until he collapsed against the ground. He was certain that he had just suffered a heart attack. Was there a rune for that? Surely an _iratze_ wasn’t strong enough. Perhaps Jem would know. Gideon lowered to a squat in front of him and firmly held his shoulder.

“Gabriel,” Charlotte said. He made a small sound of defeat. There was a pause, then: “Congratulations; your daughter is perfectly healthy.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened as the sound of Charlotte’s footsteps faded further from the door. Gideon smiled brightly at him. “Another Lightwood daughter!” he proclaimed. “Barbara and Eugenia will be so excited.”

Gabriel, recovering from his emotional turmoil, gave his brother a goofy grin. “I’m a father,” he said in disbelief. _Cecily is okay. Our baby--our daughter--is healthy. I'm father. I'm a father. I'm a father._

Will whooped. "I'm an uncle!" Gabriel looked at him evenly. Will sighed, his excitement subdued. "All right. Congratulations, Lightwood. I suppose this is your moment just as much as it is my sister's. Thank the Angel she's fine."

"I told you Cecily would be all right," Gideon said, though he did not sound pompous about it. Gabriel accepted his brother's hug and breathed out slowly. All his worries for the past nine months were over, and all he wanted was to see his wife and daughter.

Cecily was unsure how much time had passed since she first heard the cries of her baby mixed with the frightened shouts of her brother and husband. She was _so tired_. But after Sophie stripped the bed of the bloodied sheets and replaced them, and Tessa had helped her changed into a clean gown, all Cecily could think is that she wanted to hold her child.

_She is healthy,_ Jem told her as Tessa helped her lay back against the headboard. _And so are you, Cecily._ Tears stung at Cecily’s eyes. She was alive—and so was her daughter. _A_ _daughter_. Her healthy, perfect daughter.

“Where is she?” Cecily asked, her voice laced thick with exhaustion. Charlotte turned from the small table at the far side of the room with a small, crying bundle of blankets. She walked slowly toward Cecily and smiled brightly. With great care, she lowered the newest member of their family into her arms.

Cecily looked down at the precious baby in her arms. Her daughter had a hearty cry, but as soon as Cecily brought her to her chest, her cries stopped. “Oh,” Cecily sniffed. Her heart swelled in her chest, and she forgot all about her exhaustion. “You’re really here.”

“Shall I bring Gabriel in?” Sophie asked quietly. Cecily could not peel her eyes from her baby, but she could hear the smile in Sophie’s voice. Cecily only nodded.

The door opened and Will fell to the floor into the room with a shout. Cecily looked up at the sound, startled at first, then raised an eyebrow; he must have been leaning against the door. From the ground beside him, Gabriel scrambled and turned to face her.

He stared at her with his wide, green eyes. His brother pushed him further into the room and Gabriel quickly seemed to gather his wits and rushed to her side. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. She vaguely heard Will gag, but someone harshly shushed him.

Gabriel pulled back and before he could say anything, Cecily blurted, “I love you.” He blinked at her. Then he laughed.

“I love you, too.” His face, with all its angles, was soft as he gazed at her. Then, as if remembering why he was there at all, slowly turned and laid his eyes on his daughter for the first time. His breath hitched and a wide smile grew. “She’s perfect.” The door to the room clicked, and Cecily realized that they were alone. Gabriel leaned down and softly kissed the baby's head. "I've only just met you," he whispered to her. "But I love you with all my heart."

Cecily pulled against the blanket, revealing a small head full of thick, black hair. She let out a short laugh. “Looks like a Herondale,” she murmured. Gabriel’s smile did not falter.

“She looks like her mother,” he answered. “Who happens to now be a Lightwood.” Cecily laughed again and leaned her head against his shoulder. Gabriel reached out and brushed their daughter’s cheek ever so gently with his finger. "I was so worried."

Cecily closed her eyes and focused on the weight of their love in her arms, and the feel of his pulse against her cheek. "As was I," she said quietly. "But I told Sophie that if anything were to happen, to let you in immediately."

Gabriel tensed. "You thought something bad was going to happen?" His voice wavered. Cecily shook her head. The fabric of his jacket tickled her face.

"No, but it is best to always be prepared," she answered. "But I am all right, my love. And look at her. She's _healthy_ , Gabriel. I was so afraid, but she's here."

He brought his arms around her and held them both close to him. Cecily could think of nowhere else she felt safer. “What shall we name her?”

Cecily stared into the small, squished face of someone she’d only known for a few minutes but had won over her heart and Gabriel's in an instant. “I know the perfect name.”

“Her name is Anna,” Cecily said proudly, leaning over Gabriel’s shoulder to look at their daughter, who looked so very miniature in his arms. Their families, comprised of Herondales, Lightwoods, and Fairchilds, stood at the end of her bed, watching them with bright eyes and ecstatic smiles. “Anna Lightwood.”

Will beamed. “She looks like a Herondale! Oh, my sincerest condolences Gabriel, I’m afraid the Herondale genes have proven superior.” Tessa dug her elbow into his side and glared.

“ _Will!_ ”

Cecily was unaffected, and Gabriel seemed not to hear Will at all. She leaned in close and laid her finger gently against Anna’s cheek.

“My Anna,” she whispered. “I promise you all the love in the world. No matter what.” Gabriel turned and kissed her cheek. Anna’s face crinkled; then she opened her eyes to reveal the stunning dark blue that matched her mother’s. Gabriel laughed and shook his head. “Your mam and dad love you so much. And so do all your aunts and uncles and cousins.”

Barbara peeked out from behind her father’s leg. “Can I play with baby now?”

“Uncle Will gets to go first,” Will protested.

While her adult brother argued with her three-year-old niece, Cecily could only smile, content in the embrace of her husband and daughter, in the presence of her brother and all her in-laws and extended family.  
  
This was her handmade heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be an epilogue!


	15. Epilogue

i.

1884

Gabriel woke immediately at the first cry.

He was out of bed in seconds, pulling on the nearest pair of shoes he could find. Cecily stirred beside him, blinking her eyes sleepily. “Gabriel—”

“I’ve got it,” he said quietly, leaning down to press a kiss to her temple. “Go back to sleep.”

He was unsure if she heard him; her eyes closed again, and she made no other protest. Swiftly, Gabriel journeyed into the hall and down the corridor toward the nursery. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a figure, with bright red hair, coming closer. “I’ve got it, Bridget,” Gabriel told her. “Please, return to bed.” She waved him off and turned, venturing back down the stairs.

When he pushed open the door to the nursery, Anna’s cries got louder. He quickly made his way to the cradle and lifted his infant daughter up and into his arms. “Shh, it’s all right, Anna,” he cooed at her. He bounced her in his arms, as he had done so many times before with his nieces. Anna was only a few days old, but her claim on his heart was just as strong as Cecily’s. “What is it, hm? What’s got you so upset?”

She simply continued to cry. Gabriel frowned, and walked around the room, continuing to bounce her gently. She did not smell, so he knew she likely did not need her nappy changed. He wondered if Jessamine had paid her a visit and spooked her—again.

Several minutes passed with no luck. Anna continued to cry, and Gabriel began to worry. “Do you suppose she’s hungry?” Gabriel snapped his head to find Cecily standing in her nightgown and robe in the doorway. She was smiling, though exhaustion was clear in her eyes.

“Cecy,” he breathed. “Go back to sleep. It is my turn to do the work.”

Cecily only shook her head, the smile remaining. She walked toward him and gazed at Anna, who did not seem to know, or care, that her mother was there. “She enjoys a lullaby,” Cecily murmured. “So, if a lullaby does not calm her, then she is hungry, and that is my job.”

Gabriel smiled affectionately at his wife. Cecily was too good for him. “All right,” he said.

Cecily leaned her head against his arm and hummed a quiet Welsh lullaby he’d heard her sing before. Like magic, Anna’s cries slowly hushed, until she was blinking sleepily at her mother. She yawned, stretching her small face in a way that made Gabriel’s heart happy. Cecily reached up and brushed Anna’s cheek with her finger; Anna fell asleep.

“You are magnificent,” Gabriel whispered so softly he hardly heard himself. He laid Anna back in the cradle, then remained standing beside it, gazing at her. Cecily walked up behind him, wrapped her arms around his middle, and laid her head against his back.

“I know I am,” she replied.

In the morning, Bridget would find him asleep in the armchair beside the cradle. Cecily would be curled up beside him, her legs thrown over his lap and her head nestled into his shoulder. And Anna would be awake, happily grabbing at the girl hovering over her, unseen to the rest.

ii.

1884

There were few things, recently, that required Jessamine’s presence at the Institute.

She watched, from all too strange of a distance, as the others grew older and brought children into the world. She enjoyed seeing Barbara and Eugenia scampering around the Institute during their visits. Such pleasant young girls, Jessamine always thought. Though that Eugenia could be quite stubborn at times. Barbara was much more poised, in Jessamine’s opinion.

Then Will’s sister had returned to the Institute in the midst of her pregnancy, and Jessamine found herself thrilled at the prospect of a baby living in the Institute at all times. She’d never met Cecily Herondale in life, but she seemed to be so much like Will that it hardly mattered—she felt like she knew her.

“Anna!” a small voice sang from the rocker in the drawing room. Jessamine emerged, feeling that a small child was up to no good. Jessamine watched as Barbara, dressed in a light blue child’s dress and a matching bow in her hair, wrapped her hands around the rails of the rocker and began to push it toward the door. “Time for a walk, Anna!” Barbara said cheerfully.

_Oh, heavens,_ Jessamine thought. _You were supposed to be the good one._ She planted herself in the doorway, blocking the girl from taking the infant on an ill-advised trip. Barbara blinked up at Jessamine. There was little time left before Barbara would stop seeing her, so Jessamine treasured every time she got. “Barbara,” she scolded. “Where are you taking Anna?”

Barbara grinned. “On a walk, like Papa takes me!”

Jessamine shook her head. “Did you ask Aunt Cecily or Uncle Gabriel if you could take Anna on a walk?”

Barbara’s face fell. “No.”

“Hmm,” Jessamine answered. She shooed Barbara back into the room, who returned the rocker back to where it was with a pout. “One must ask permission before removing their cousin from the nursery.”

“Yes, Auntie Jessie.”

Later, Jessamine would learn that Anna would be just as adventurous, and that she’d frequently be required to prevent her from escaping the Institute on numerous occasions. This was not what she had in mind when she was tasked with protecting the Institute, but at least watching over small children involved much less pitiful violence.

iii.

1884

“Is it safe?” Cecily asked, cradling baby Anna in her arms. She eyed the Portal uneasily.

“What?” Henry asked, shocked. He sat beside the Portal, his red hair as wild as it always was, staring at Cecily with wide eyes. “You’re the first person to ever step through a Portal and you came back just fine.”

Cecily narrowed her eyes. “That was before I had an infant, Henry. Is the Portal safe for an infant to pass through?”

Charlotte smiled softly. “I’ve brought Charles through the Portal numerous times, Cecily. And Barbara and Eugenia have traveled through before. Barbara may not like the Portal, but it’s never hurt her. It is only unsafe for those in ill health.”

Cecily looked down at her baby, tucked warmly into several blankets. Yorkshire was rather cold this time of year; and while she and Gabriel would be just fine in their coats, Cecily fretted over the baby.

“We can take the train, if you’d prefer,” Gabriel said gently at her side. He carried a case full of extra nappies and towels, in addition to a change of clothes for her and him, should they decide to remain the night with her parents. “Your parents don’t know we’re coming, Cecy. An extra few hours won’t matter if we decide to take the train to Yorkshire instead.”

Cecily brought Anna closer to her, protectively. “No,” she said. “The Portal will give me more time with them, with Anna.”

Henry started the Portal, and as Cecily gazed into it, she saw the tips of Ravenscar Manor from atop the nearby hill. She took a deep breath. “I will go first,” Gabriel said, stepping in front of her. “It will be all right.” He kissed her head, then Anna’s, stepped through the Portal and was gone.

Cecily turned to Charlotte, who was dressed in her Consul robes. “Thank you, Charlotte.”

Charlotte smiled, albit a little uneasily. “I will open this Portal again in two hours, then again tomorrow at eight in the morning. You cannot be gone for long, Cecily, or else the Council will notice your absence. The risk is high.”

“I know,” Cecily answered. “We will be back.”

She stepped through.

  
As soon as Cecily approached the front door, she gave Anna to Gabriel, who set down their case at their feet. “Go ahead,” he whispered to her, nodding his head toward the door. Cecily straightened her shoulders and knocked.

The door swung open. Instead of finding the maid in the entryway, as they had expected, Cecily looked directly at her mother. “Mam,” she breathed.

Linette screamed happily and pulled Cecily into a crushing embrace. “Oh, my Cecily! Your letter had me so worried! My love, I am so happy to see you!” She rambled off in Welsh about having half a mind to jump onto a train and head immediately for London as soon as she read Cecily’s letter. Cecily smiled.

“I am all right, Mam,” she assured. She turned back to Gabriel, who was smiling politely. Linette followed her gaze and immediately burst into tears. Cecily glanced back in time to see her father rushing down the stairs, then stop cold at the bottom of the steps. He seemed to take a moment to register who was at the door before he rushed to Cecily and gathered her up in his arms.

“You brought the baby,” Linette cried. Edmund pulled back with a wild look at Cecily, then looked up at Gabriel, who bowed his head with a quick _sir_ , carefully holding Anna in his arms.

“Well of course we brought the baby,” Cecily laughed. She left her father’s embrace to stand by her husband, then looked proudly at her parents. “Mam, Dad, this is Anna, your granddaughter.”

Linette immediately approached Gabriel and cooed at the baby, tears streaming down her face. “May I hold her?” she asked in awe. Gabriel gently leaned down and, with all the care in the world, placed little Anna in her grandmother’s arms. As if Cecily and Gabriel were no longer even standing there, Linette turned and disappeared into the manor, cooing at Anna in Welsh.

Cecily turned to her father, who simply smiled and shook his head. “It will be several hours before she returns Anna to you,” he said.

iv.

1886

The wind was cold, but Anna Lightwood didn’t seem to mind it at all. She was scurrying about the Institute’s lawn, running from her uncle Will; her laugh floating through the wind like a chorus of bells. Cecily smiled from the steps, admiring just how quick her little girl was. Only just over two years old, Anna showed great potential as a Shadowhunter.

Behind Cecily, the doors opened with a creak. She did not have to turn to know who was emerging. Gabriel’s amused chuckle sounded, followed by the thud of the doors closing. He had a bit of that shining powder Henry always gave to Magnus Bane on his sleeve, and Cecily supposed that he must not have had time to clean his coat after returning from Covent Garden to see his brother. “How is he?” Cecily asked him, looking away from her daughter for a moment to gaze up at her husband.

Gabriel wore a saddened half-smile, brought on, Cecily knew, by the sight of their daughter outrunning Will mixed with the memory of seeing his newborn nephew earlier that day. “Thomas is still so small,” he said. “I hardly think Sophie or Gideon have slept at all since he was born. The girls have begun to notice.”

Cecily sighed and took his hand in hers. Her heart ached for Sophie, who was so kind and deserved nothing short of a perfect life with Gideon and their children. When Thomas had been born early, and so very small, it was a shock to the whole family. “Thomas will be all right,” Cecily affirmed. She held her chin high in confidence. “He is a Lightwood.”

Gabriel looked down at her, his saddened smile morphing into one of adoration. Her heart skipped, as it always did when he gazed at her like that with those eyes. It was truly incredible, Cecily thought, that a simple smile could soften all those sharp angles of his face; the angles their daughter had certainly inherited. Before Gabriel could answer, a small but determined voice called out to him. “Dad!” Anna shouted breathlessly, though there was a large grin plastered on her face. She scrambled up the steps, where Gabriel knelt down with his arms wide open. Anna crashed into them, breathing heavily. She turned her face to her uncle, who frowned at her from the bottom of the steps.

“Well that is just cheating, Anna,” Will said sternly, though there was no malice in his voice. Anna laughed again and dug her head into her father’s shoulder. Gabriel stood, hugging Anna close to him. Cecily’s heart swelled at the sight.

Tessa emerged from the side of the gates that surrounded the Institute, with a hand gently over her middle. She was roughly four or five months pregnant now, and Cecily was thrilled to have learned she would be an aunt on her side of the family as well. “She won fairly,” Tessa teased at Will. “I guess that means you need to brush up on your training.”

Will gasped, feigning great offense that Cecily knew was pure dramatics. She turned away from her theatrical brother to squeeze Anna’s cheeks. Anna pouted but did not wave her mother’s hand away, and Gabriel released one arm from his grip on Anna to pull Cecily closer. The wind was cold, but Cecily was perfectly warm.

The light outside had darkened into the starlight night, and the witchlights in their bedroom were dim. Anna had been particularly easy to put to bed that evening; Cecily attributed that to her marathon challenge that day with Will. As Cecily brushed her hair, sitting in her nightgown at the edge of their bed, she gazed at Gabriel. He was dressed for bed, but dutifully reading that evening’s mundane newspaper. She did not understand why he seemed so determined to check it, recently, but decided it was not worth the questioning. The longer she looked at him, the longer her heart ached.

“Cecy?”

Cecily blinked. Gabriel was watching her, now, his brows furrowed, the newspaper all but forgotten in his lap. “What are you thinking about?”

She set the brush down in her lap and bit down on the inside of her cheek. He was curious, she could tell, but she knew what she had to say could turn his curiosity into worry. She turned and crawled across the bed to sit beside him. He tossed the paper onto the floor, giving her his undivided attention. As Cecily looked up at him, into those green eyes she loved so much, she was certain.

“I want to have another baby,” she told him.

His eyes widened, but he made no sound. Cecily smiled, a bit shyly, and reached up to brush his cheek with her thumb. “Before you say anything,” she continued quietly. She searched his eyes for any indication of his answer, but they remained wide in shock. “I know that last time did not go entirely smoothly, but we know that it is a possibility now. We would be prepared for it.”

Gabriel opened his mouth, then closed it. He was breathing at least, Cecily thought. He shifted his position on the bed to be closer to her. She could feel his pulse soaring through her hand on his wrist. His voice was quiet when he spoke: “There are so many risks, Cecy.”

He did not say no, and that was a start. Cecily smiled gently and nodded. “I know,” she agreed. “But I would be lying if I said I haven’t watched Anna play with Will and remained content with having just one child. We both have siblings, Gabriel. We know just how precious that is. And with Tessa and Charlotte expecting as well, think about all the little ones we could have running about that would be of similar age.”

His face softened the slightest bit. He took her small hand in his and brushed his thumb over her forearm, over her marriage rune. _I love you._ She kept her eyes glued to his face. “I—I don’t know if I’m strong enough to watch you go through it again,” he whispered. Cecily’s eyes widened in surprise. Gabriel hardly ever looked so vulnerable. “There was so little I could do to ease your pain, Cecy. I know it is selfish—”

“No,” Cecily interrupted with a shake of her head. She lifted his chin to look directly into his eyes. “It is not selfish. I know that it was not easy to see me like that. It was not easy to experience it. But look at what we brought into the world, Gabriel. Anna is healthy and beautiful. What is nine months of a bit of illness and rest to a lifetime of joy?”

Gabriel sucked in a sharp breath. He was tense, but he still hadn’t said no. “God, Cecy, I want another child, too.” Cecily squeezed his hand, relieved. His face was still contoured in worry, but his worry always stemmed from his love for her and their family. “But we must seriously consider the risks. You could get so very sick, again. If we do this, we must take all the precautions right away, instead of waiting for you to collapse again. I don’t think my heart can take that again.”

Cecily smiled, a large bright smile, and straightened. “Of course. Yes, absolutely,” she rushed, nodding. She gazed at him, hopeful. “So, is that a yes? We will try for another?”

Gabriel returned her smile, his body relaxing. He gathered her into his arms, where she went willingly. “Yes,” he answered simply. His heartbeat was loud against her ear, but Cecily never minded the sound.

Two months later, Cecily stood, grinning like a madwoman, before her family. Gabriel stood beside her, with Eugenia propped up in his other arm. She was roughly three years old now and had a piece of fruit in her little hand that she only occasionally remembered was there and stuck into her mouth. Barbara and Charles, nearly five and seven now, sat obediently at their parents’ feet. Anna was busy sticking her head into her uncle Gideon’s hat at Gabriel’s feet.

“I’m pregnant,” Cecily exclaimed. The news burst out of her like an explosion, unwilling to be contained.

Cheers erupted immediately. Will leaped from his seat and embraced her tightly, while the sound of Tessa and Charlotte discussing the closeness in age of their unborn children filled the space beside them. “We’ll be better prepared this time,” Will whispered in her ear. Cecily smiled and squeezed her brother.

“Yes, we will,” she confirmed, pulling back from him.

Will turned to Gabriel, who seemed to be holding Eugenia strategically, as if to use his niece as a barrier between him and his brother-in-law. But Will only held out his hand with a smile and said: “Congratulations, Gabriel.” Gabriel, relieved, firmly shook Will’s hand and breathed out a thank you.

There was a cry, and Sophie scrambled up and out of the room with baby Thomas. Barbara ran off after her, and Gideon paused at Gabriel’s side. “I am very happy for you, brother,” he said kindly. He smiled at Gabriel, despite tensing at the sound of his son’s cries. He flicked his eyes up to Cecily’s, who watched him hesitantly. “And you, Cecily. This is absolutely wonderful news.”

Cecily smiled back and gestured softly toward the doorway Sophie disappeared through. “Go,” she said gently. “I promise I will not be at all offended by you checking on your family, Gideon.”

Gideon smiled gratefully and raced through the opening to his wife. Cecily turned back to the rest of her family, who had gathered around her, singing their congratulations.

She leaned in close to Gabriel, who had given Eugenia to Charlotte and picked up Anna. “Ten,” she whispered to him. He grinned at her, amused. “This,” she gestured around them, then at Anna. “This is all a ten.”  
  
  


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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. Your comments mean the world to me. I promise I'm working on more TID/TLH content, so for those of you who have been so kind and said you'd love to read more, it's coming! Handmade Heaven has been such a fun ride!


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